Survivor Cagayan 2: THE REMATCH!

Survivor Cagayan was one of the best season's ever.  With so many interesting players, it begs the question, which ones should come back to play again?  Well, I say there were so many great players from that season they should all be brought back in the same season, with the exception of Lindsey.  Quitters don't deserve to come back.  As the title of this article suggests it could be called Cagayan 2: The Rematch!

However I don't think they should be divided into the same three tribes, which would be pretty much impossible anyway without Lindsey there.  I say they should start off with 2 tribes with Tony and Woo being the captains of each tribe and allowing them to choose their own tribes alternating in their picks with Tony getting first choice since he came in first.  Also alternating between guys and girls.

Of course without Lindsey they would start off with an uneven number so what to do about that?  Bring someone else in from a past season? No! Bring one of the loved ones in from the final episode? No!  I say start off with 17 players after Tony and Woo choose their 7 tribemates, exile the last person left over until the first immunity challenge.  They did something like this in Figi with the odd man out replacing the first person voted off, but I didn't really like that.  I think the tribe that loses the first challenge should still be at a numbers disadvantage so I say the tribe who loses the first challenge in Rematch should have to vote out 2 people and then whoever was exiled would join that tribe giving it 7 tribe members to the other tribes 8.

A lot of people probably think the Kass would be the odd man out but I don't think so.  I think if Tony were smart she would probably be his first choice.  Tony would naturally have a HUGE target on his back and Kass would be one of the few people who could take the heat off of Tony.  It would still be highly unlikely for Tony to make it to the end but I think aligning with Kass would be his only shot.  I think Ja'tia would actually be the most likely candidate to not be picked.

So would anyone else like to see Spencer Tony Kass and Tash battle it out again?  Of course I would love to see Morgan back again.  View the video below for my tribute to Ms. Mcleod.

Survivor Cagayan Week 10: Always Bet On Black!

The question is.. am I referring to the rock or Tasha?  Before I answer that I want to first make a prediction.  Like it or not, Tony will be back to play this game again.  Why?  Three reasons.  He plays hard, he plays to win (I think), and he gives great sound bites.  Such as "get your ass out of the water and cook it".  I have never seen a player waist so much potential in all my 10+ years of watching Survivor.  At the beginning of the episode I was having a change of heart about him and starting to think he was gonna end up winning despite his LJ blunder, because everything just seems to be going his way.  Sometimes on Survivor there are players who don't win so much because they play great but because the stars just happened to aligned perfectly and everything just seems to fall into place for them.  The last two winners Tyson and Cochran are perfect examples of this.  Two of the dumbest players in the history of the game.  One of my fellow recappers gave Cochran a zero percent chance of winning at the beginning of Caramoan but look what happened.  Not only does he win he doesn't have a single vote cast against him the entire season and then wins by unanimous decision.  This however was not a Survivor first as JT managed to do the same thing but I think most people would of never believed the weasel who was too chicken to draw rocks would have a chance in hell of repeating that feat.

Of course Tony has no chance of accomplishing this since he has already had votes cast against him and after this episode I think he definitely has no chance at winning.  I did however, start off the episode really admiring the guy.  This happens because of the traditional Survivor auction.  Even though Tony has a rock solid alliance AND an idol that can be played after the votes are read, making him virtually invincible for the time being, he is still determined to not bid on any food at the auction so he can win the also traditional advantage.  Tony is a jerk and makes some boneheaded moves but you have to admire his dedication!  The only problem is he has some serious competition from outsiders Spencer and Tasha.


Now their situation may seem pretty bleak but the last three immunity challenges have been won by one of these two and there is undoubtedly a new idol in circulation after Spencer played his last week.  So if they  can find the idol and one of them wins immunity then it's a whole new ballgame.  I know Spencer blew a golden opportunity when he won immunity by not letting Tasha win and getting everyone to vote for him so he could play his idol but I don't think he would be that foolish again. 

So after Wacky Woo gives everyone their money that was previously shoved down his ass we get to the auction.  Typically we only have one or two people saving their money for the advantage or information but since this time we have three this time.  As Spencer puts it this results in a real buyers market, with very little competition to drive up the prices.  It's true that Tasha does bid against Jefra for an item, which seemed to really tick off Spencer, but I suspect she may have just been trying to get Jefra to spend more money.  As hungry and safe as Tony he is, he refuses to bid on anything.  This is just a testament to the depths of Tony's paranoia.

Finally it's time for the advantage, but of course Probst has to create a little drama and stir things up by putting the three people who still have all their money on the spot.  After they acknowledge what is obvious to everyone, Probst pulls out a small scroll and Tony immediately bids all his money, but Probst reveals that it's not that easy.  He informs them that if the bidding reaches the maximum amount anyone else with all their money can match the bid and then it will become a contest of drawing for the chance to win the advantage.  Spencer agrees to take the chance but Tasha elects to sit out.  As they were about to draw I was saying to myself it's going to be Tony because everything has been going his way and sure enough Tony draws the winning black rock while Spencer is left with nothing.  Not that it matters because Probst immediately announces the auction is over.  I'm not sure if I like this rule of drawing rocks after bidding all your money and I definitely don't like them saving it for the last item.  But maybe the only reason they didn't do this in the past is there is normally only one person with all their money after a few rounds of food battles.

Back at camp Tony has to narrate the action as is often his habit and lectures on the downside of winning the advantage.  Still having not read the scroll and assuming it's an advantage at the next immunity challenge.  He says the fact that he's starving and others are full may neutralize any advantage.  However I do not recall anyone ever buying an immunity advantage at an auction and not winning the next immunity.  Even Abi who was sat out of nearly every challenge because she is so weak won immunity when she had an advantage.  However, this particular advantage is not an immunity advantage but a clue to the new hidden immunity idol.

At first he can't find it and both Spencer and Tasha are working Tony good.  Spencer by planting seeds about Jefra and Tasha by staying close with the girls to plant fear of an all girls alliance.  Of course it works like a charm for the most paranoid player in the history of the game.   I really have to give Tasha credit she is such a better player than I ever suspected from the beginning of this season.  So she's in the water with the girls which pisses off Tony even more because he's taking care of the camp and meanwhile Trish thinks that Spencer is too skinny.  Okay skeleton lady.

Tony goes to search for the idol some more and this time he finds it at a tree that looks exactly like the tree he found the last idol at.  So now, Tony is officially the most powerful player in Survivor history.  More powerful the Yul, more powerful than Terry, more powerful than James.  This fool now has two idols one of which can be used AFTER the votes are read!  There's no way he's going home with two idols in his bag like James did.  He is so ecstatic he now believes he has the power to take away a persons vision since he says he can give it to someone else to help them "blind" someone.  Tony than proceeds to show everyone in his alliance his new idol even though he is still keeping the other one a secret.  He says he is doing it to build trust and tells them it's another community idol but what he's really trying to do is scare the shit out of them which I think is one of his better moves.

At the immunity challenge Woo gives Tasha a run for her money but for the third strait time she wins immunity.  Immediately after winning she looks up to the sky and thanks Jesus.  Apparently Jesus is a big fan of Survivor and had nothing better to do on this day than to make sure Tasha played another day.  I wonder if he is also the one that helped Tony get two idols?

So now it looks pretty bad for Spencer unless those seeds of doubt they have been planting in Tony have begun to blossom and indeed they have into a full blown garden of paranoia.  Had Tasha won he almost certainly would of voted her off but now he is so scared of being outnumbered two to one by the girls, despite that fact that he has two idols.  We still don't know how long either of these idols are good for but if he can just win one of the next three immunities he's pretty much guaranteed final four even if he uses one of his idols this episode.

Despite all this he initiates a plan to take out Jefra.  Spencer and Tasha are thrilled to go along with the plan and Woo, who is Costello to Tony's Abbot is also down.  Once again they leave Trish and Kass out of the loop.

It's things like this that drive me crazy.  It is so irrational and senseless. This guy just can not slow down for one second. Spencer is a much bigger physical threat than Jefra.  Jefra may have a slight advantage over Spencer with the jury but Spencer and Tasha are no slouches in that department either.  However the plan may be aborted when Spencer decides to go searching for the idol just to be safe.  This is almost enough to cause Tony to flip once again.  I'm pretty sure this is just for dramatic effect though, since Probst implied in early interviews that Spencer goes to the end.

At tribal Tony pulls out his normal idol and announces he will be using it tonight because he's convinced the girls are plotting against him.  In the end the girls vote for Spencer and not for Tony but Tony does flip and Jefra is sent home.  I said this before but now I'm sure Tony's game is over.  The way he's going he's going to end up in the end with Tasha and Spencer and is gonna get his ass kicked.  After all one of thse two have won the last four immunities!  What's even more bizarre is the half of the worst tribe in Survivor history is now half of the final six.  So now it really is Brains vs Brawn!

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  Can Tasha save herself again with an unprecedented four strait immunity victories? 

Survivor Cagayan Week 9: The Cheapening!

This season was going soooo great but from where I stand it really went down the tubes this episode.  Why?  Because unfortunately I was right again.  Here is a quote from my week 6 recap.

Even though I don't like too many idols being in play I'm dying to find what these special powers are.  I'm thinking it might be an idol like the ones from Exile and Cook Islands that could be used after the votes are read, but we will see.

As I said in the quote I don't like so many idols floating around and I really don't like having an idol as powerful as the ones from Exile and Cook islands.  When Yul found the idol in cook islands that he could use after the votes are read and all the way to the final four that basically kept anyone from ever voting for him and he was able to position himself as this great strategic mastermind, which was just enough to steal the game from the far more deserving Ozzy.  What Candis, Sundra, Adam, and Jonathon didn't seem to understand is that it is very easy to make big strategic moves when there is no chance of you getting voted out.  In Brad's case I'm sure he voted for Yul over Ozzy because there complexions were more similar.

The producers saw how unfair it was to have such a powerful tool and how it cheapens the game so they changed the rules after Ozzy's tragic defeat to Yul.  They have kept it that way for 15 seasons.  That's more seasons then had occurred prior to Cook Islands.  But now I guess they are running out of ideas so they brought back a similar idol that can be used after the votes are read.  It's not quite as powerful since you can't give it to another player like Terry and Yul had the option of doing.  But I still don't like it. To make matters worse the guy I want to see get voted out the most ended up finding it.  Vic Mackie himself!

The one thing we don't know is how long this idol is good for.  Is it good until the final 4, 5, 6 or what?  If it's the final 4 or 5 it's an almost an absolute certainty that Tony will make it to the end, which really sucks.
  
So anyway the day after the betrayal of LJ Jefra finally starts talking for the first time in the game and is extremely pissed at Tony.  To my surprise Trish and Kass are not.  Kass says Tony is annoying so it's good to keep him around.  This is the first smart thing she has said in quite some time.  As a viewer I hate seeing annoying people being ridden like goats but from a strategic standpoint it makes a lot of sense.  Just ask Boston Rob.

While Trish is reassuring her, she again reinforces my observation of what a great liar Tony is by saying he went into the wrong profession because he's an academy award winning actor.  While all this is happening Tony is listening to every word under his "spy shack" which is wisely placed in close proximity to the water well.  Got to give him props for this and his acting ability.  As I have said before Tony's ability to lie believably puts Russell Hantz to shame.  But as I've also said, that's what comes from being a cop for over a decade.

At the reward challenge Probst gives an extra hard sell to the prize.  I can't remember a time when he put so much effort into describing the prize before a challenge.  As fate would have it Jefra is paired with the minority alliance and they end up narrowly beating the other team by realizing the winning phrase was "worth playing for" instead of the unheard of phrase in Survivor's dictionary "worth fighting for".

So when Jefra goes on reward with the three most desperate players in the game, guess what chronically paranoid Tony does?  Yeah, he starts freaking out!  So much so that he has to start a sentence three different times before he can finish it.  "They're going to suck in.... they're going to pull in... they're going to talk to Jefra."

This causes him to begin a panicked search for the idol.  It's pretty clear that he will find it from the very start of him describing his search for it.  He does indeed find it and as I said before it's an idol that makes Tony virtually invincible for the remainder of the game.

Meanwhile, much to Tony's chagrin, Trish and Woo are wasting time on the completely useless act of searching for food.  "Lime's and Papaya's" he whines.  Tony is so similar to Russell but unlike Russell, who was clearly an idiot, I can't tell if Tony is actually an evil genius or if he's a moron like Russell who has just been getting very lucky.  When he's doing things like fooling Sarah, blindsiding Cliff and finding idols he seems very smart but then he does stuff like foolishly yelling out "top 5 top5" or taking out his biggest ally for no apparent reason he seems like a typical Barney Fife.  One thing that's for sure though, he is the biggest drama queen in the history of Survivor.

Trish and Woo spot a tree that Trish observes resembles Morgan's boobs which makes me miss her even more.  As we saw in last weeks preview when Woo attempts to scale the tree he ends up completely busting his ass.  As he retells the incident he continues doing his best Jeff Spicoli impression as he has been doing throughout the season.  I had high hopes for Woo at the beginning of the season, some said he had the potential to be another Fabio but that is looking less and less likely as he continues to prove himself to be not much more than your average muscle head.     

At the reward Jefra does indeed get pulled in by the minority, at least momentarily.  That doesn't last long.

At the reward challenge Tash is once again in the final three, this time with Woo and Spencer.  It comes down to a rematch with Spencer who barely beat her the last time 2 episodes ago but this time Tash prevails. I have to say I think it would of been much better if this has happened during their last showdown.  I think at that time Spencer could of gotten everyone to vote for him and he could of used his idol to take out one of the majority instead of my girl Morgan getting voted out.  At this point however, he has proven himself to be a dangerous player who is much more likely to have it than Jeremiah.

As far as Tash goes I have to say, the longer she spends on the island losing weight the cuter and cuter she is getting.  I understand she used to be a cheerleader like Morgan and I can definitely see how on this episode.  She was looking mighty desirable with her hand firmly grasping that ahem pole and balancing that ahem ball.

Immediately after Tash wins immunity for the second strait time we see a clip of Jefra talking about taking out Tony, that was clearly shot long before the immunity challenge took place, and I'm starting to think Jefra will be the one going home.  However, Trish sees the conflict in her and eases her mind while pulling her back in.  I have to say that Trish might have missed her calling as well.  With her amazing attention to detail and phenomenal observational skills she could of made a great detective or poker player.

Meanwhile the minority sees they are in trouble and Jeremiah decides to make the amazing revelation that he is actually a fashion model.  OMG!  This is when Spencer decided to make an genuine revelation that he has the idol.  What I want to know is why is it necessary to have the word "male" in Jeremiah's label?  I mean if they just identified him as a "model" instead of a "male model" is there anyone out there that would think that he could possibly be a "female model"?

Right before tribal Jefra admits to Jeremiah that she's flopped back over to the majority.  Not sure if telling him was a good strategic move but I think he could attest to her integrity to be forthcoming.  This is definitely the right move for Jefra.  It would of been really stupid for her to flip even if Tony didn't have the special powered idol.  She may be correct about herself being on the bottom of the alliance but even if she flipped she would of still been on the bottom and she would of pissed a lot of people off.  Right now I think she has the best chance of winning if she can find a way to the end, despite what Spencer and Tash say about giving their jury vote to Tony.  She will have a tough time getting to the end with her current alliance but if she flips she will have almost no chance of winning.

It's an intense tribal as both sides have idols and both sides are trying to figure out who to vote for.  We see the minority vote for Woo and Spencer does a hilarious impression of him.  But we don't see who the majority are voting for before the reading of the votes.  However Woo does kind of tip their hand when he implies they don't want to vote for the person with the idol.  This should of sent out alarm bells to Spencer that they were voting for Jeremiah and maybe it did.  When the time comes to play the idol it appeared as though he considered giving it to Jeremiah but he plays it safe and uses it for himself.  I can't say I blame him.  Even though it turned out to be wrong it's probably what I would of done.  It would just be too risky to give it to Jeremiah.  Tony thinks he bluffed Spencer into not giving Jeremiah the idol but I'm not so sure.  Anyway when the votes come up for Jeremiah Spencer apologizes to Jeremiah who tells him not to worry about it but what he means to say is "don't worry about it because now I finally get to go to Ponderosa and try flirting with Morgan some more".

Next Week on Survivor!  It's auction time!  He will have enough will power to bid on the advantage instead of food?  My money is on Spencer.

Survivor Cagayan Week 8: Vic Mackie Returns With a Bag of Tricks

Ok, so I'm officially back to hating Tony aka Vic Mackie again.  He pissed me off enough last week by voting off Morgan and now this week he just complete lost it and erupted in an explosion of paranoia.  Go figure, a police officer acting paranoid. As I said before I wish Tony's behavior was unique of America's police force but that's quite the contrary.  Most cops are in a constant state of paranoia and like Tony, are incapable of performing their jobs without bulling people. 

He does this as soon as they get back to camp and throws a very nonstrategic shit fit about getting worthless votes thrown at him.  He makes a big production about voting for Morgan because she didn't deserve to be here, which is complete bullshit.  He went after her because she was the least likely to have the idol. 

Then the next morning after all his talk of getting rid of the least deserving players he immediately decides to target LJ.  This is the same LJ that almost completely unnecessarily sacrificed his idol for Tony.  As I said before I believe that gesture by LJ demostrated how much allegiance he had to Tony.  Why you want to get rid of someone who will always have your back in a game where people are constantly trying to cut your throat is beyond me.  Tony may not be quite as retarded as I first thought but this proves he is still a moron. 

His plan is to plant seeds of Woo's deadliness.  To appease Tony LJ asks Tony if he wants to take out Woo, with absolutely no intention of actually targeting woo.  But this all Tony needs for ammunition to go after LJ.

At the reward challege, gasoline is poured onto Tony's fire of paranoia when he is teamed with two people from the minority alliance, Spencer and Jeremiah, and end up winning.  Tony is so anxious to make another move that this temptation is far to great for him to resist so at the reward he starts wheeling and dealing, telling his challenge partners he's not quite ready to turn on his alliance but will keep them safe for the next vote.  Tony dubs himself the opportunist because when he sees an opportunity he grabs it.  I just hope there's a huge cliff near camp that he'll have the opportunity to jump off of.  So now Spencer and Jeremiah just have to hope Tasha doesn't win the next immunity. 

Speaking of Tash she isn't going down without a fight.  She's either cunning enough to actually see Tony's ridiculous gameplay or is just grasping at straws when when she tries to warn LJ about Tony and recruit him and Jefra to mutiny.  LJ doesn't want to blow off Tash to her face but he's also ver weary of Tony's paranoia so he does end up snubbing her.

Karma comes back to bite LJ when it's Tasha who beats out LJ for individual immunity.  Unfortunately his bad karma doesn't end there.  I think Tony was planning to vote off Tasha for this round but when she wins immunity he shifts gears and decides to advance his plan to take out LJ.  He first enlists Woo who like Sarah falls for his game hook line and sinker.  In Woo's and Sarah's defense I will say the Tony may be the most believable liar in Survivor history.  Russell Hantz could learn a few things from him, but as I said before that's what being a cop for so long does for you.

Like Kass I had really high hopes for Woo but he's proved himself to just be a typical musclehead. Got to give the editing department probs on this.  They fool me a lot in this respect.  I remember thinking Jed from Survivor Thailand was a favorite to win.  Talk about embarassing. 

Tony then goes to enlists Trish in his plan but she is not so easily swayed.  And I don't think it's just because she has a huge crush on LJ.  She can see the holes in Tony's story that Woo fails to notice.  This gives Tony second thoughts and I'm hoping Trish's lust for LJ might be enough for her to lead a revolt against Tony.  Unfortunately this is not to be. 

At tribal Tony whips out his "bag of tricks" which I guess was some kind of bluff that he may have an idol and not get voted for again.  Speaking of idols am I the only one who is wondering about the idol with different powers.  No one seems to be looking for it and I wonder if anybody ever will.  Perhaps they think the clue that Spencer had last week was for that idol and it's already been found.  If it's not found I hope Probst will explain it's powers at the reunion show.

Back to the vote.  As I said before Karma is not done with LJ.  Tony sticks with the plan and LJ who earlier made the cardinal sin of saying how he felt comfortable for the first time gets blindsided.  I was a little blindsided too.  Since the whole episode seemed to point to LJ's exit I was sure the editors were just trying to fool us and Jeremiah or maybe even Tony would get voted out.  That would have been amazing. 

So now I'm thinking Spencer is now the favorite to win.  I think Tony will probably make it to the end and will take Spencer along or Spencer will use his idol to get there.  I also think Trish will be in the final three but I doubt she will win. 

One last thing I'd like to get off my chest.  I don't have cable so I watch Survivor on cbs.com.  I have to say I am so sick of that Windows comercial with the nerdy girl coffee shop owner.  "Honestly" she is the most annoying spokesperson since Jacko.  She must be making a fortune off the comercial with the amount of times it's show.  If 1,000,000 people a day watch one show on cbs.com and she makes just 1 penny everytime it's played she would be making 100 grand a day since they show it 10 times during every show.  Or at least they were.  They have seemed to lessen the amout from last week but I would still love to strangle this annoying bitch. 

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! Tony continues to unravel but no one will have the guts to take him out.

Survivor Cagayan Week 7: So hard to say goodbye

HERE

I feel like shit not just because my girl got eliminated but have a vicious cold so I'm just gonna say I'm seriously bummed to see her sexy ass leave but looking forward to seeing her prettied up on the jury. Maybe I'll add to this post when I'm feeling better. 

Go here to see where Morgan falls on my list of hottest survivor women.
http://ultimatesurvivorcountdown.blogspot.com/2010/06/hottest-survivor-women.html

Survivor Cagayan Week 6: Chaos Kass Strikes Again!

The following is a paragraph from my week 2 recap of this seasons Survivor.

Note to self.  When you get on Survivor do not trust short stocky bald guys who speak with an accent.  Unfortunately after he confided in his fellow cop, I think her name is Sara, she is pulling a major Shambo and falling for his game hook line and sinker.  "I trust Tony 1000 percent." Didn't Shambo say the exact same thing about Russell before he fucked her?

And guess what happened this week?  Tony fucked Sarah over and ocrchestrated her exit from the game.  Looks like I called that one pretty good but I might of been wrong about the casting department doing a lousy job again because this has turned out to be one of the most exciting seasons ever and we're just to the merge.

Speaking of Tony he is no longer the outsider and has gelled with his new tribe very nicely.  Solana is all getting along very well and then are told to head over to Appari.  This of course is so the tribes can merge.  Along with the traditional tribe feast they are given a note that there is another idol with special powers hidden in the camp.  What could these powers be?  Even though I don't like too many idols being in play I'm dying to find what these special powers are.  I'm thinking it might be an idol like the ones from Exile and Cook Islands that could be used after the votes are read, but we will see.

Soon after the merge Trish gives Pilates instructions to most of the tribe including Morgan and I've never wanted to be a Pilates mat so bad in my entire life when I see her mashing her chest down towards it. Tony, however, is sitting out the lessons and is trying to figure out his next move.  

Even though Vic Mackie's alliance is in the majority I couldn't help but think they were in the best position.  They are much more united then the former Appari, they don't have three members who came from the worst tribe in Survivor history AND they have two immunity idols.  So once again I'm a bit worried about my girl Morgan's position in the game.

Most of the dissension  from the former Appari comes from Kass and Sarah.  As I see Kass push Sarah's buttons I can't help but think I was wrong about her strategic ability.  Sarah is the obvious swing vote between two groups of five players so Kass and everyone else should be kissing Sarah's ass like it's going out of style at least for this first vote.  I did really like it when Kass said don't trust a cop, no question about that.  Of course Lawyers aren't any more trust worthy.

Tony tries to get back into Sarah's good graces but she's not sure which way to go because she made a pact with Appari and she doesn't want to lose their jury votes.  Meanwhile Appari wants to vote out Woo or Trish but Sarah still feels a bond for them and wants to take out Tony.
   
The immunity challenge is the classic balancing one's self on this floating triangle structure with very small foot holds to stand on.  Even though I'm pretty sure no man has ever won this challenge because it is so advantageous to women since they have smaller feet which it makes it easier to stand on the foot holds, but despite all this my gut tells me that Trish and Woo are the favorites to win this challenge.  I figured Trish because she is a Pilates instructor and Woo because he's a martial arts expert, both of which I would guess would help with your balance, especially the martial arts.







Everyone makes it through the first two rounds no sweat, but the moment that they move to the third round where you have to stand on the very top of the triangle, the bulk of the tribe starts falling like dominoes including Trish.  The only three that manage to hang on after the first minute are Vic Mackie, my girl Morgan and Woo!  Unfortunately when a strong gust of wind hits the players Morgan is knocked off.  Fortunately though, we get to see her soaking wet again :) So astonishingly enough it comes down to two men fighting it out.  Tony gives Woo a good run for his money but in the end can't hold on.  However, he does prove he's nearly the scum bag Russell Hantz is and congratulates Woo as he is falling into the water.  So now Solana have individual immunity in addition to both immunity

After the challenge most of Appari wants to vote for Jefra because they wisely figure there is no way she has the idol.  However, Sarah still wants to go after her blue blooded brother Tony because she if finally starting to wake up and see how shady he is.  She wants to get the strongest players out first before they can start winning immunity and do too much damage.  Unfortuantely she is also certain that he does not have an idol.  I guess she figures because cops are so honest and forthright that he would of showed it to her if he did.

So obviously Sarah is way off about Tony having an idol but I can see the wisdom in both arguments.  On the one hand Jefra would be a safe vote but people with idols normally don't use them on the first vote after the merge.  So if they were to vote Jefra out and whoever has an idol is left with just 4 people in their alliance that would make it more likely that they would use it on the next vote which puts your alliance more in jeopardy.  Appari does defer to Sarah's wishes since she is the swing vote but Kass isn't happy about it.

Through the entire episode Sarah is bragging about being in such a great position, and I can't help but shake the feeling that she is going to be pulling a Dolly and swing herself right out of the game.  Her cockiness is what is annoying Kass so much.  It also annoys Tony who tries very hard to swing her back to their side.  Sarah stupidly won't even pretend to commit to him so Trish goes to work on Kass.  When Trish tells her they want to vote out Sarah it's music to Kass's ears.  With each passing moment it's looking more and more like Solana is the alliance with their heads in the game and Appari is just bumbling around. 

As thrilling as this episode has been it jumps to mach 5 at tribal council.  The subject of idols comes up and when it is directed at LJ he tries to deflect any thoughts of him having one by saying they could be a big joke this season which Probst takes to mean that there are no idols this season.  It is at this moment that Tony makes a move that puts Russell Hantz to shame, and not in a bad way.  He confidently announces that there are idols and he know this because he has one.  Spencer calls him out and Tony reaches into his bag puts the idol around his neck and says he using it tonight but not necessarily for himself because it is a community idol.  He then smugly suggests how panicked the six former Appari are and he is so right.  The look on Appari's faces, especially Sarah's is priceless and suddenly my respect for Tony has increased by about 1000%.  All of them are in a panic and Spencer initiates the action to "vote for the other one" clearly telegraphing that they will not be voting for Tony.  

After the vote Probst asks if anyone wants to play an idol.  Tony then does something that is a little puzzling and asks Probst to confirm that the idol is genuine.  I can't believe Tony could possibly think it wasn't real so maybe there was some other motive behind this move that I'm not getting.  Tony then tells Probst he wants to use if for LJ.  The surprises don't stop there though.  LJ then jumps up and shocks everyone including Tony but pulling out his idol, which obviously no one was aware of and announces he wants to use it to protect Tony. 

Tony is on top of the world at this point and actually starts rooting for his name to come up but his euphoria quickly disipates when he sees Jefra's name come up and it is now Appari who are looking smug.  The big question is will Kass flip?  Even though it wouldn't be good for Morgan I'm actually hoping she did.  The last vote is read and it is in fact for Sarah and now it is Appari who are now shocked and depressed.  Except of course for Kass who like Morgan last episode is looking like the cat that ate the canary as Sarah realizes she's been had.

As she's leaving Sarah asks who flipped as if there was any question to the culprit but Appari quickly realizes it was Kass and Spencer announces she now has zero chance of winning to which Kass replies, "there's still a long way to go".  I have to agree with Spencer though.  Even though I'm glad Kass did what she did, historically whenever someone pulls this move it ends there game.

It may seem like LJ and Tony wasted their idols but even though they turned out to be irrelevant I still think playing them was a great move especially for Tony.  After Tony's selfless act, which I am still completely stunned by, I think that group will now be more solid then any alliance Russell ever had and I think LJ will now follow Tony through the gates of hell.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! I was happy to see Morgan looked in danger in the previews because that probably means she's is safe as a kitten.  My money is on Tony to find the special powered idol.

Survivor Cagayan Week 5: Zombie Tribe

 

So because of Trish's massive urge to gloat about her big blindside as soon as Solana returns to camp, we almost have a female version of  Brandon Hantz and Philip altercation.  Or at least that's what Lyndsey leads Probst to believe moments later when she informs him that she can't take being in the game another second.  That and the fact that she didn't expect to have endure being cold, tired and hungry while playing the game of Survivor.  

I've watched Lyndsey's exit interview on Survivor Live and personally believe she is so full of shit.  During her interview she was doing all kinds of double talk and just not making any sense.  I believe she knew her days were numbered and didn't want to give Trish the satisfaction of voting her out.

I am completely disgusted by this.  There are so many people like myself who are dying to get on this show and she quits because her ego couldn't take her closest ally being blindsided.  As I've said many times before I believe the casting department is on crack but whoever chose to put someone this ridiculously weak on the brawn tribe should be demoted.  You would think the fact that she's a hairdresser might give you a little clue that she shouldn't be on a tribe of strong people.  She doesn't even have the guts to face her tribe to let them know she's leaving which is even more suspicious of her motives.

At the reward challenge when Solana walks in with two people missing we are treated to several members of Aparri doing their best Eliza Orlins impression.  Probst questions Alexis on her reaction and without thinking she says she is so happy to see her fellow beauty's still alive.  That statement will come back to haunt her.  

The reward is a raid on the losing tribe's camp and the challenge is a familiar one where two members of opposing tribes square off and try to knock a mini idol out of the other's hand.  The first two are Spencer and Woo.  Spencer prevails by using the old trick of throwing your own idol high into the air and then immediately striking at the your opponent's.  You would think that by now someone one would be anticipating this move during this challenge and defend by throwing your idol up as high as you can so the other person's will hit the ground first.  I'm sure this move would not be easy but could be executed with focus.

The scoring goes back and forth but then my girl Morgan has to face off against Vic Mackie because so many men have been voted off.  LJ warns him not to look into her eyes because he will get sucked in but I'm sure everyone will agree her eyes are hardly Morgan's most distracting feature to the average man.  Mackie wins and request's high fives from his fellow teammates for the incredibly difficult task of beating a little 21 year old girl.

Next is a rematch between Spencer and Woo with the game on the line and Solana in the lead.  This time Woo does focus and patiently waits for the right moment.  He then strikes, knocking Spencer's idol down to the ground and winning the challenge.  Solana decides to send Woo and Vic Mackie to raid Aparri's camp.

At Aparri Tony and Woo are given a clue to the idol at Solana even though the idol is in LJ's pocket which doesn't make any sense to me.  Tony then gets the evil plan of telling Aparri that the clue is for their camp and they are choosing to give it to Jeremiah.  Even though Jeremiah see's it's an old clue to their old camp he not only doesn't say anything he actually give the clue back to Tony  before they leave.

When Tony and Woo get back to Solana they gloat about how they put a huge target on Jeremiah's back.  Then Tony comes clean about being a cop to try to earn the tribes trust.  As LJ said, "to prove he's trust worthy he admits to everyone he's been lying for two weeks.  Ok. Different."  I wish I could say Tony's intelligence and paper thin integrity was unique to the law enforcement ranks but I'm sorry to say based on my experience Tony is extremely typical of your average cop.  

Unfortunately not too many people realize this and think cops are as mostly honest.  I remember telling my aunt, who is a white lady, when I was a teenager how sketchy cops were and became so revolted by my statement.  The thing is cops act very differently with women (especially white women) and rich white men then they do with everyone else.  So if you're a white woman like my aunt or a rich white guy you have no idea to the true nature of the police.  If you need more insight just watch the Shield sometime.

But Tony isn't the only one to have a huge revelation, Trish jokingly reveals that she's really a man. OK. I thought she was going to reveal that she's actually the Joker's twin sister.

Back at Aparri, Alexis is very suspicious of Jeremiah for receiving an idol clue and begins to orchestrate his exit from the game.  She begins with Spencer, who plays along but is actually afraid that Alexis might be smarter than she lets on, which immediately reveals Spencer's elite power's of observation.  A lot of drama ensues surrounding Jeremiah warning us that Aparri will most likely be losing the challenge, but on the bright side Morgan appears to be pretty safe.

However that thought doesn't seem too sound when LJ starts bumbling around during the first phase of the challenge.  First he get's stuck in the mud then he decides to put the tallest pole of a staircase smack dab in the middle, but during the second part which is navigating through a bamboo maze Solana catches up.  The next part is completing a puzzle of wooden boards to reveal a combination to a lock that secures an immunity flag.  Sarah is working the puzzle for Aparri but apparently she forgot her glasses back at camp and can't see what everyone else can, which is her puzzle pieces don't match.  Solana finishes first and LJ once again nearly busts his ass on the way to the combination but still manages to release the flag.  Then Tony once again demonstrates his intelligence level but jumping up and down, while shouting "Top Five" over and over within spitting distance of his blue blooded sister Sarah, who doesn't look the least bit pleased.

At Aparri we see Morgan looking fine as hell in a lake with Alexis, and Sarah.  Alexis is trying to solidify Jeremiah's departure.  Sarah swears on everything she loves that she's voting for Jeremiah.  But guess what?  Shocker!  Officer Sarah lies and votes for Alexis along with everyone else.  I must say the editors did quite a job in fooling me because I was sure Jeremiah was a goner.  You would think I would learn after all these years.  Alexis leaves in tears and we see Morgan smiling like the cat who just ate the canary.  I have to say I totally missed how Morgan was more upset with Alexis than with Jeremiah but apparently she was.

I didn't have a lot of love for Alexis but I have to say I really felt her pain when she left.  I was surprised to learn that she is actually a really big fan of the show.  I would of bet anything that most of the beauty's along with most of this season's cast were recruits.  There's also the fact that I do not like Jeremiah after he betrayed Morgan and Brice.  That's how the game goes though.  

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  The previews seem to be implying a merge but I have a feeling it might be a trick.

 

Survivor Cagayan Week 4: Then End or the Beginning for the "Brains"?

This episode had some great shocking moments that arose from the tribal shake up we all knew was coming.  As soon as the three tribes arrive for their next challenge they are instructed to drop their buffs and they will be merging into two tribes.  Since the green tribe has no food courtesy of J'Tia they are divided between orange and purple.  At this point in the game there are 15 men and 17 women so one team is going to really get the short end of the stick.  That tribe turns out to be the orange tribe when all three of the men from the Brawn tribe get switched over to purple along with the 2 of the Brawn women.  Sarah is the only person to stay orange.  She then gets stuck with all three "Brains" plus Alexa, Jeremiah and my girl Morgan.

After the switch up they immediately engage in the most unfair challenge in Survivor history when two members from each tribe must drag another member off a pole and across a track.  Aparri does win the first point and I never thought I could be so jealous of a tattooed covered hair dresser but that's exactly what happens as I watch in total envy when Morgan mashes her massive boobs into Lindsely's face as she tries to pry her off the pole, but the next two rounds are a complete massacre with Salani using their resident giant Cliff on the pole both times AND they also have the advantage of getting to use a man to pry off an Aparri woman in both rounds.

Back at camp things aren't looking any better for Morgan as Sarah outs her and spills the beans about Trish having a choice between looking for an idol or an extra bag of rice which Morgan lied about when she was in the same situation on day 1.  I would of bet anything that Sarah would of been the obvious swing vote within this tribe until Morgan's fellow beauty members waist no time in throwing her under the bus and each try to form an separate alliance with the "Brains" who are now sitting pretty after ridding themselves of the curse of rice's worst enemy J'Tia.  However I'm fairly certain this tribe has zero chance of winning the immunity challenge and I'm very concerned for Morgan's life in the game continuing past this episode.

At Solani it seems as though outnumbered LJ and chronically confused looking Jeffra are on the outs until Trish immediately begins drooling over the much younger LJ.  Even Vic Mackie tries to play match maker when he learns they are both single and from Massachusetts.  Cliff doesn't like this and quickly begins scheming to separate the two.

At the immunity challenge Probst announces he is retiring the smaller immunity idol and then tries his best to figure out the gender of the bigger idol for some reason.  He then announces that each tribe must sit out one player.  Solani immediately chooses Trish but there's some drama at Aparri who has determined Alexa or Morgan will sit out, instead of one of the three members who came from one of the worst competitive tribes in Survivor history, but neither of them want to sit out.  Sarah impatiently demands they play rock paper scissors to decide and Alexa triumps over Morgan,.  Not that it matters, because the first part of the challenge entails swinging a giant wooden dildo through two wooden walls and we all no Appari has no chance of winning this one right?

Well this is where the first shocking even of the episode takes place.  No I don't mean Probst yelling out "it's harder than it looks" as teams swing the giant wooden dildos.  I mean when Aparri actually manages to emerge neck and neck with Solana at the second phase of the challenge which consists of navigating the dildo through ahem, three holes.  Vic Mackie is even more shocked than I am when Aparri narrowly defeats the Brawny Solana.  After expressing his shock he announces that LJ is the primary target to eliminate, which probably means LJ isn't going anywhere.

Wouldn't you know it, LJ's recent admirer Trish is desperate to save him and wants to enlist Vic Mackie to take down Cliff because he has not said a word to her the entire time they have been there.  This is a major Survivor mistake that I see too many people make.  If I'm playing Survivor I'm going to be doing my best to be friendly with everyone even if I can't stand them.  If I see someone I don't like first thing in the morning, the first thing I'm gonna do is give them a hug and ask them if they got any sleep and do my best to make them feel comfortable right before I cut their throat.  Some may say being likable can be a liability in this game and it can, but it's very hard to get to the end AND WIN if you're not likable.  I'm talking to you Russell Hantz.  This is a social game and your social skills have to be in overdrive when playing survivor unless you're just looking to be somebody's goat to ride to the end.

Trish's only problem is convincing Vic Mackie to go along with the plan.  He's calling Trish schizophrenic for wanting to vote out Cliff which seems to me like the pot calling the kettle black since Tony has been dying to get out Cliff.  Lindsey however smells a rat which encourages Cliff to confront Tony after seeing him and Trish scheming on the beach.  At this point I'm not sure Tony deserves to be called Vic Mackie because he suddenly loses his ability to be a world class liar.  He does lie to Cliff but it's not a very good one, where he tells Cliff she was talking about staying strong.  If I had been Tony I would of said that she liked LJ and wanted to get rid of Jeffra first to diffuse any suspicions Cliff might have. I understand he was trying to alleviate Cliff's concerns but my lie would of been much more plausible.

Even though Tony seems to be struggling with the decision LJ seems to be pretty safe for the moment since he has an idol in his pocket.  With all the uncertainty going into the vote it would seem an obvious move for LJ to use his idol.  This is when the next shocking even occurs and after the vote LJ does NOT play his idol.  Now he survives when Vic Mackie votes for Cliff for "strategical" reasons but that was so risky.  I'm sure he had a long talk with Tony that we did not get to see before tribal and Tony convinced him he was down for the plan but still I can't imagine LJ not using his idol.  I think Reynold might of done the same thing and survived but look how far he got.

In the end Lindsey and Woo or shocked when Cliff leaves despite Lindsey swearing on everything she loves that Trish would flip.  I guess she just didn't predict Tony would flip.  Then Probst must snuff the torch of the most towering contestant since Mitchell from season 2.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! It looks like Lindsey was put on the wrong tribe and is not strong enough to endure the heat of the game.

Cagayan Episode 3: Cops R Us

Is this the third or fourth episode?  Did the premier count as one or two episodes?  Guess it depends on your point of view.  In any event this is the episode where Cops R Us decide to employ the brilliant strategy of throwing a challenge because blue blooded Sarah is believing every lie that comes out Vic Mackey's mouth and is desperate to get rid of Cliff because he told her that he and Lindsey are gunning for her.  To my surprise Cliff's partner in crime, Woo is totally down.  I understand not wanting a multimillionaire to win the game but throwing a challenge is always a bad idea.  Now I was glad when Zapatera threw the challenge in Redemption Island to get rid of Russell but it still came back to haunt them.  Never a good idea.
I was glad to see Jeremiah seems to be in hot water over at the beauty camp.  I'm just hoping Morgan can convince the girls to form an alliance against the boys.  I'm also very proud that she's fighting so hard to stay in the game.
I was also glad to finally see an episode this season with two challenges.  Despite their issues the beauty tribe bounces back from last weeks loss and comes in first, winning three egg laying chickens.  Although the "brains" tribe has a huge lead for second J'Tia manages once again to blow it because this ahem nuclear engineer can't figure out how to lay a flag pole on a platform.  Somehow the braun tribe manages second place and wins a dozen eggs.
To my relief the beauty tribe goes two for two and comes in first in the immunity challenge as well.  It then becomes a race for the brawn tribe to try to finish BEHIND the "brains" tribe.  This is no easy task with J'Tia still on the "brains" tribe who can't even dive down into three feet of water to retrieve a buoy.  They give it their all but the brawn tribe just can't do badly enough to lose to the "brains".  Granted the second phase of the challenge was throwing a ball into a basket which gave former basket ball player Cliff a huge advantage but still that was really pathetic performance by the "brains".  So even with another tribe trying to lose the "brains" still can't win and come in last for the fourth time in five challenges. 
I'm not sure what I would of done if I was Tasha and Kass.  Yes, J'Tia is completely useless in every aspect of the game but there's also the fact that she would have zero chance at winning in the final tribal council.  It seems to me they might be past the point of no return of hitching their train to J'Tia, but they are struggling on which way to go all the way to and during tribal council where they are openly debating who they should vote off while Probst is trying to interview Spencer and J'Tia.
Spencer begs for his life and I would of loved to have seen someone remind him that he voted David off to keep J'Tia in the first tribal, but they don't.  Or at least we don't see it.  We also don't see anyone bothering to look for the idol which surprises me.  Maybe it happened on both counts but just didn't make the editing.  Either way Kass flops again and they decide to get rid of the anchor that is sinking them fast and vote out J'Tia.  I was pretty sure this would be the result because in interviews I have read with Probst he implies that Spencer goes far into the game.  After this episode I'm thinking he will almost certainly make it to the season finale if not the final tribal council.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! Spencer and Morgan's prayers are answered with a tribal shake up and the two three tribes become two.   

Cagayan Episode 2: Talk of The Town

Last week I said Tony was probably related to Micheal Skupin but now I'm pretty sure he's related to Russell Hantz.  All three of them sport the Lex Luthor hair cut, so you can't blame me to much for the mistake.

Note to self.  When you get on Survivor do not trust short stocky bald guys who speak with an accent.  Unfortunately after he confided in his fellow cop, I think her name is Sara, she is pulling a major Shambo and falling for his game hook line and sinker.  "I trust Tony %110 percent." Didn't Shambo say the exact same thing about Russell before he fucked her?

I shouldn't be surprised a cop is turning out to be the season's villain.  They all lie on a daily basis, probably hourly basis for most of them.  In Tony's own words, you can swear on your kids, your mom your grandma it doesn't matter.  I can only imagine how many times he has lied under oath and sent many an innocent defendant to jail.  Hopefully a lot of defense attorney's watched last nights episode and those words will come back to haunt him.

Things are still complete chaos at the "Brains" tribe.  Then you got J'Tia whining for some rice.  Anybody who aligns with her all the way to the end should win just for the headaches she puts them through.  I'm starting to wonder if Kass will be able to stand her for 39 full days though.

At the Beauty tribe things are not looking good for my girl Morgan, of course.  Why can't things ever go good for the hot girl on Survivor?  Things start to go downhill for her when her nemesis LJ finds the hidden immunity idol.  Fuck!  But I'm not to worried about her this episode at this point because the brain tribe is a mess and with all the scheming going on at the Brawn tribe I'm pretty sure one of them are going to tribal tonight.

At the challenge the Brawn and Beauty tribe must sit out two people each.  Since the challenge involves tossing buckets of water around I'm REALLY hoping Morgan is playing.  Lord knows if there's a challenge with a high possibility of someone getting there top soaked I definitely want Morgan participating.  Luck for me Alexa and Jefra are the chosen ones. Although Morgan does her part to give the Beauty tribe a big lead in the puzzle portion of the challenge, nor does she disappoint me by getting completely soaked, The "Brain" tribe wisely doesn't let J'Tia anywhere near the puzzle and they manage an amazing comeback with Spencer and Kass working the puzzle to finish second.

At camp it looks really bad for Morgan and her wingman Brice.  They want to vote out Alexis, and I have to say again, what is she doing on the Beauty tribe?  However, they don't have the numbers because Jefra wants no part of taking out her new bff.  A glimmer of hope arises though when the girls start getting paranoid about Morgan or Brice having the idol, even though their ally LJ has it.  Regardless, they decide to split the vote which leaves the door open for Jerimiah to flop his vote and take control of the tribe with Morgan and Brice.  This would also help get him on Morgan's good side.  The question is will he do it.  Unfortunately the answer is no. There's a three way between Morgan, Alexis and Brice, which under normal circumstances would make me really jealous of Brice.  But this three way isn't nearly as exciting as the one I would like to have with Morgan and Alexis, or Morgan and just about any other member of the female population.  This three way results in a revote, and while Morgan remains in the game she loses her biggest ally Brice.

When I first saw Brice I had two thoughts.  Why is he (and everyone else but Morgan), on the Beauty tribe and he'll probably be the first one voted out of his tribe.  However, I must say I was really impressed with his game play and was expecting him to go pretty deep into the game after last weeks double header.  As it turns out he's gone and Morgan is in serious trouble.  Brice doesn't take it too hard, he wishes Morgan well and I'm sure he's really excited to have some quality time with last weeks cast off, Garrett.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! I'm praying hard the "Brain" tribe will let J'Tia do a puzzle again so Morgan will be safe.

http://www.change.org/petitions/cbs-let-me-play-survivor

Brawn Vs Beauty Vs... BRAINS????????????

Oh man! I am so disappointed they are having a season without ANY returning players! NOT!!!!!!!!! This was the greatest premier since Redemption Island.  I was so happy to get to see two tribal councils in the first episode.  I guess it was actually two episodes but you know what I mean.  I vote Survivor be changed to two hours every week, have two tribals every week and bring back the final two.

As Kass asked about her tribe I would really like to know the criteria it took to be placed on each tribe.  Probst said it best about the "Brain" tribe, "This is the oddest tribe I have ever seen".  They are by far the stupidest group of people to ever play the game.  Even though I thought to myself that J'tia would be someone I would like to keep around because I think she would make a terrific goat to ride to the end like Russell Hantz or Phillip Shepard, I was still shocked to see her survivor two tribal councils.

Survivor and reality TV in general has had a really hard time finding African Americans that they have been able to portray positively.  Placing two African American women on the "Brain" tribe was an obvious attempt to change this and of course it completely backfired.  J'tia maybe crazier than "Former Federal Agent" Phillip. However, it looks like Kass may be almost as smart as me and is going to use J'tia as a goat, know she has no chance at winning.  So instead of J'tia leaving, David and Garrett get voted out.  The former left after finding the idol and I'm sure his biggest disappointment will not getting a chance to play with Brice.

As far as the "Beauty" tribe the only one I would classify as beautiful is Morgan, but I am thrilled to see she is smarter and more strategic than anyone on the "Brain" tribe.  She is the hottest Survivor since Angie Layton but I have a feeling she will last a lot longer, which is just fine with me.

Then we have the Brawn tribe who have some drama.  I can't even remember there names but it looks like a big cat fight is in the works and there's Tony who in my experience with cops is very good representation of America's Law Enforcement team.  I think he would fit in really good on "Brain" tribe and judging by his logic, bald head and his injury prone challenge performance I'm pretty sure he's related to Micheal Skupin.  He did find the idol but I doubt he'll figure out how to use it effectively.  I loved watching him squirm when being interrogated by the chick cop.
"I'm not a cop, they don't allow tattoos like this" He says.
"How do you know that?"
"Uh I got 50 friends who are cops"
Brilliant.

It looks like it's going to be a really exciting season.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! Does the "Brain" tribe have a snowballs chance in hell of winning a challenge with no rice and J'tia still on the tribe?

http://www.change.org/petitions/cbs-let-me-play-survivor

Survivor 30: America's All Stars

This is my idea for what the theme of the upcoming Survivor 30 should be.  I call it "America's All Stars" because my idea is to have America vote from the 28 previous seasons on which 20 all stars should be brought back.  I believe this would make for a great all star edition since, judging from the group of players that have been brought back in recent years, the survivor casting department is obviously on crack.
So here is how it would work.  Starting this summer following the finale of Survivor 28 America will be given a chance to vote on their favorite players that they would like to see return from each season starting with season 1, but for the first 16 returnees they can only vote on non winners, weather they won on that season or not.  So for season 4 and 8 you could not vote for Rob and for season 23 you could not vote for John.  The last four players would be chosen from the existing pool of winners. 
It would start out in phases though before the final cast is selected.  First the male and female from each season to receive the highest amount of votes would move on to the second phase for a total of 56 finalist.  28 males and 28 females.  Of those 56 players there would be a second vote and the top 8 males and top 8 females from that vote would be the 16 non winning all starts. 
I would suggest that non winners could be voted for in each season they played in and if they are the top vote getter in more than one season they automatically move on to the final cast.  So for instance if Ozzy were to receive the highest number of votes for season 13 and 23 he would automatically skip the second phase and be part of the season 30 cast. 
After the final 16 non winners would be voted for they would then give America the chance to vote for which 4 winners get to come back out of the 27 previous winners (remember, even though there will have been 28 seasons there will only be 27 winners because Sandra won twice).  Then the 2 male winners with the highest number of votes and the 2 female winners with the highest number of votes would get to return.
This could either be done during a special primetime summer season, or it could be done online. Online would probably be better.  First they could have a show reviewing each cast member starting with season one then give a number to each one for viewers to vote on.  Either way, I believe having viewers participate in the selection would generate renewed interest in the show that has been slowly eroding over the past couple of years.
Although Rob and Russell have vowed never to play again, and I don't like Russell but I know a lot of people do, including the producers of Survivor, this could be a great way to get both of them back in the game.  I'm sure if they knew America voted for them to come back their egos would not allow them to decline the chance and I would of kind of like to see Russell back just to watch this one trick pony get his ass handed to him again.  I'm sure there would be some players who might get voted for to come back like Elizabeth, and in that case, after someone makes it through the first phase I think they should be asked if they want to move on or drop out.  If they drop out then they could possibly have an alternate who got the second highest amount of votes.
I think the tribes should be divided on the first day of the game by letting the male and female winners with the highest amount of votes being captains and doing a schoolyard pick.  Of course if Russell were playing he would be the last one picked which would be funny to see.  I also think the season should include redemption island.

Check out my video below of one Survivor I would definitely like to see back!  Also please sign my Survivor petition HERE