Survivor Caramoan Episode 1: Phillip ACTUALLY Crazy??

Could Phillip REALLY be this crazy?  Could it actually be that his insanity isn't an act?!  When I first watched him on Redemption Island I quickly became convinced that he was a plant by the producers to secretly help whichever returning player he ended up being tribe mates with.  I couldn't believe that the producers would ever put someone that crazy on the show who wasn't related to Russell Hantz.  Especially after the finale when he told almost all the jury members to kiss his ass.  But after watching last nights episode I'm not so sure.  The idea of bringing a plant back as a returning player isn't that far fetched at all, but directing that plant to make sure that Fracesca get's voted off first again IS pretty far fetched.  I can't believe any of the producers wanted to see that happen.
This will probably be the last time they're stupid enough to ask someone back who was voted out first.  Like the old saying goes, "those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."  I'm guessing they just liked having two black players who hated each other.  That's very rare on Survivor.  It wasn't until the fifth season that a black player cast a vote against another black player.  That player being the enormously annoying and insane Ghandia.  I'm sure Phillip and her would of gotten along pretty well though, because they're clearly both nuts.  Of course, as far as I'm concerned Phillip should of never been brought back.
I understand they did ask BIMBO to come back and she declined.  Thank God.  As much as I hate seeing Francesca back, I will take her coming back over BIMBO any day of the week, and twice on Sunday.  Probably the only players I would hate to see come back more then BIMBO is Russell Hantz and Coach.
Not that the other Favorites are much better.  It's a huge dream of mine to play on Survivor but I'm kind of glad I didn't play this season.  I can just imagine Probst asking me on hour 1 what I think of the returning players.  I don't think I could manage to resist saying something like "I can't say I'm too impressed.  I see about two or three good players over there.  Then I see two idiots who were stupid enough to give up immunity, a guy who is either a plant by producers or completely nuts, another guy who thinks you can win the game by stabbing most of the jury in the back, and a dike who was stupid enough to get voted off first." Then when the inevitable tribal shuffle occurred I would of had some major tap dancing to do.
If I ever do play Survivor I think I'm going to have to seriously consider giving up immunity at some point though. That seems to be a sure fire way of getting asked to play again.  Every person who's ever given up immunity has been asked to return.  Unless you count Burton who gave one of his TWO immunity necklaces to Rupert.
After introductions are made they start right off with a challenge.  Amazingly the "favorites" kick the fans asses.  Less then 15 minutes into the episode Brandon is already showing signs of losing it.  Warning...Warning... you have 10 episodes to evacuate the island before Brandon reaches critical nuclear mass destruction!  Judging by the previews for next week I may be being too generous with 10 episodes.  But it's actually fan Shamar that sets the record for getting on Probst's bad side when he advises Sherry to break Brenda's wrist.  You can tell Probst is just itching to get him to tribal council after that one.  Wasn't there a black girl named Shamar who got voted out first a few seasons ago?  Of course this Shamar doesn't look anything like her!  This guy has got to be the heaviest player in Survivor history.  He has to equal about two Richard Hatch's.

So luckily for the "favorites" the fans aren't much better.  Within a couple hours they are bickering and squabbling, mostly due to Shamar's impatience.  He wants everyone to stop working on the shelter and try to build a fire.  No doubt, fire is important on Survivor but I think if I was there, my priority would be shelter.  Especially if most of the tribe is already working on it.  Obviously Shamar isn't a big enough fan to know that you aren't supposed to rock the boat on day 1.  I do have to give him props for getting the fire going without flint.  Of course they used the same technique developed by Survivor legend Boston Rob.
As far as alliances go, two of the pretty boys and their main squeezes form an alliance and dub themselves the "cool group".  They fail to realize that in a tribe of 10 an alliance of 4 has about as much chance as John Cochoran in a duel against Ozzy.  
Meanwhile, at the "favorites" camp, Francesca is desperately trying to do everything she can not to be the first one voted off.  During a private interview she picks up a small rock and declares that she will eat the rock if she's the first one voted off again.  She even tries to make up with Phillip, who has absolutely no interest in accepting her olive branch.
John on the other hand is desperately trying to avoid being sunburned to death.  By the end of the second day he is red as a lobster and in serious pain.  I know a couple players from South Pacific that are really enjoying this.
Although this is a really lame group of "all-stars" but I have to say I'm really digging Brenda's enthusiasm.  I don't think I have ever seen anyone so excited to play the game of Survivor.  During the whole episode she has a huge smile on her gorgeous kisser and is exploding with energy during the challenges.  Especially when she got off the helicopter and on the mat in the beginning.  She's one of the few reasons to have any kind of excitement about the rest of the season.
At the immunity challenge the "favorites" take a huge lead but end up blowing it during the second part of the challenge where Reynold gets revenge on Malcolm, who scored the winning point on the opening challenge.
Remarkably no one is shown searching for an idol.  That's not to say it didn't happen but it's left out for some reason.  This episode was originally supposed to be two hours long.  There was even a video clip on the Survivor website advertising this last month, but for some reason it got shortened to 90 minutes.  Maybe that's what they cut out.  Still the last minute editing shows and it's not a very exciting episode.  The immunity challenge in particular seemed very flat.  Dawn doing her typical impression of turtle by sticking her neck and head as far forward as humanly possible doesn't make it any prettier.
After the challenge Survivor genius Francesca gets the bright idea of targeting everyone in her alliance.  First she goes after Phillip then Andrea.  Andrea gets wind of this and suggests going after Francesca, which Phillip is only too happy to do.
At tribal we learn that Phillip can in fact pronounce Francesca's name properly and always could, which I kind of always suspected.  Still the tension continues to thicken between the two of them.  When he goes to vote he stomps past her like a child giving a clear indication of who he's voting for.
As I said earlier, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and Francesca makes a strong indication of just how retarded the casting department of survivor is by getting voted out first again!  Hope you're hungry Francesca.  Time for a hearty helping of rock stew!  Can't wait to see you at the reunion with all your teeth missing!
Can't say I'm sorry to see Frannie go, but I'm amazed no one went after John.  The guy is obviously untrustworthy, sucks at challenges, and is suffering from a severe case of sunburn.  Maybe that's what saved him.  Maybe they figure he can't cause any mischief while he's in so much pain.  I think that could turn out to be a fatal error for the "favorites".
Judging by the vote Brandon, Brenda, and Erik are on the outside.  How will Crazy Brandon Hantz react to this?  Well....

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! Crazy Brandon Hantz starts to panic when he realizes he's on the outside and his true nature quickly emerges.