Monday, December 17, 2012

Survivor Philippines Finale Recap: Fooled Again!


The episode starts off with the tribe rejoicing, along with the rest of America, at Abi's exit.  They do some more dancing then go on about how great it is to be rid of Abi.  Funny thing is, they could of easily gotten rid of her at the previous council if they weren't so scared of Carter.
Malcolm realizes he has some tap dancing to do after Abi threw him under the bus with the compliment of saying he's a favorite to win.  It doesn't matter that both Skupin and Lisa's game is done at this point.  They made a fatal error by getting rid of Abi.  She was their only hope.  Neither one has a snowball's chance in hell of beating Malcolm or Denise.  I'm not even sure they could of beat Abi.
The next morning the tribe is surprised to get tree mail because they have two more days left.  Since there's only four players left the final immunity challenge shouldn't be until tomorrow.  Unless it's going to be a final two this season, like I've been predicting for several weeks now.  The tribe wonders if it could be a reward challenge.  This seems impossible because it's the finale and they never have a reward challenge during the finale right?  Wrong! 
It is indeed a reward challenge and I instantly realize I've been fooled again by this unpredictable season.  Unless they have an unprecedented two challenges in one day it's going to be a final three.  Probst quickly clears this up by revealing that tomorrow is the final immunity challenge and this reward is for an advantage in that challenge.  I thinking they're going to pull an exile island and give the winner a high protein meal, but that will remain a mystery for now.
The challenge consists of going through an obstacle course and getting puzzle pieces to form a dragon.  Denise jumps out to a lead but Malcolm is hot on her trail.  I'm thinking Denise is going to win since it's a forgone conclusion that since Malcolm is returning next season, he won't win the game, so he won't be in the final three, so he won't win the final immunity.  Malcolm shockingly wins though.  It seems improbable that Malcolm could lose a challenge with an advantage.  As Lisa says he was already a huge threat to win on his own but we know that's what's going to happen.  It also feels like Lisa is leaning towards going to the end with Denise.  She obviously thinks she still has a chance at winning this game and Malcolm is the only one who realizes that Denise will be the toughest to beat. 
Knowing she doesn't have much chance at the next immunity, Denise begins to work on Malcolm.  In an effort to preserve her vote Malcolm doesn't commit to anything, much to Denise's dismay.  So she plays the only card she has left and hatches a plot with Skupin and Lisa.  Unlike Malcolm, Lisa misleads Denise into believing she's in but in an interview she admit she's keeping her options open, as she's been doing throughout the entire game.  Lisa comments to Denise that Malcolm is the type of guy who will look you in the eye, stab you in the back, then visit you in the hospital the next day, which is exactly what Lisa has been trying to do to Malcolm for quite some time.
It's clear that Lisa still wants to get rid of Malcolm but Skupin appears to be unsure.  He does however, think that he can beat Malcolm.  Lisa on the other hand suggests they try to let Denise win so she can be the bad guy.  She also thinks Denise is no threat in the finals.
Before the immunity challenge the final four does the fallen comrades walk.  I'm really glad they include that this season so I can get a shot of Angie in her bikini, but we start off with Zane who says it was stupid for his tribe to vote him out.  Maybe that's right, but it's wasn't nearly as stupid as him telling them to vote him out!
The challenge is one from Micronesia where you must balance a small ball on a horizontal cylinder.  We find out that Malcolm's advantage is getting a second chance if he drops his ball.  Incredibly Malcolm has trouble immediately.  While everyone else is pretty still he struggles and even with his advantage he's the first one out.
We later learn that Malcolm told his mom before he came out to the Philippines that that was the one challenge he didn't want to see because he's so clumsy with his hands, which is odd, considering that he's a bartender who must be quick and efficient with their hands.  Denise is the next to go, which gives Malcolm a little bit of hope.  Malcolm makes another mistake in my opinion by rooting for Skupin albeit somewhat lazily, but by doing so he gives Lisa another reason to get rid of him.  Of course Denise comes close to doing the same thing by congratulating Lisa for making it through a tough round.  Never take sides in a final immunity until it's over.  Lisa and Skupin battle for a while but in the end super klutz Skupin prevails.  Lisa, who never stops playing the game, hugs Micheal, and says how they made it together.  Lisa may very well be the most manipulative player in Survivor history. 
The next segment is classic Survivor.  Malcolm and Denise each work on Lisa and Skupin, who tell both of them they're safe.  Neither one makes a very good argument though.  If I were Malcolm I would of conceded to them that he was the favorite to win against them, but that they have NO chance against Denise, but at least against him they have an outside chance.  We see Skupin contemplating how great it would be to go against Malcolm in the end.  If history is any indicator we know that Malcolm is toast because he said the same thing to Pete, Penner, Carter, and Abi.
Any doubt of this is alleviated at tribal council when Probst asks Lisa if there's a good reason to take Malcolm and she is honest for once and says "no" much to Malcolm's shock.  I guess the fact that she gave her word to Malcolm isn't a good reason to take him to the end.  We can see by the look on Malcolm's face that he knows he's toast and Denise seems a lock to win the game at this point.  Malcolm even acknowledges this by congratulating her in an effort to admonish Skupin and Lisa.
Will Denise actually win though?  She had a hand in voting off her former Kalabaw members, although she didn't vote for Jeff, but she also refused to vote with him against Pete in the first vote after the merge, which was never seen.  Will Malcolm really hold Lisa and Skupin more accountable then Denise for his exit?  Who will Abi vote for?  She told Skupin and Lisa they can't beat Denise but she also hates Denise.  So maybe Lisa or Skupin still have a slim chance at winning.  Not to mention the fact that Denise is sounding very arrogant when she gets back to camp.
Meanwhile Skupin admits that "some people might not want to vote for either one of us".  Some people?  Try the entire Jury.  Well maybe not, quite all of them, but probably most.
The final tribal council begins with Denise wishing Skupin "good luck".  If that doesn't prove what a big phoney she is, I don't know what will.  Unless she's a complete moron she wishes Skupin and Lisa the worst luck possible.  Luckily the two people she's sitting next to aren't exactly pillars of the Survivor community.
The jury comes in.  Most have pretty intense looks upon their faces but no two are more different then RC and Abi.  RC is relishing the moment with a bigger smile then anyone else, while Abi looks like she's about to go postal.  Hopefully there's some kind of metal detector she had to go through to get to tribal council.
Denise remarkably continues to be very patronizing, practically rubbing it in the jury's faces when she says "I outlasted you, I outplayed you, and I outwitted you."  Her stature as a favorite continues to diminish with each passing moment.
Lisa on the other hand does a pretty good job kissing up to the jury, especially Malcolm.  She calls him the heavy weight champion of the season and credits her self with knocking him out.  I can see the jury is wondering the same thing as me, which is how the hell did she stumble her way to the end?
Skupin kisses up to himself in his opening statement.  He continually pats himself on the back during his statement and it's easy to see that no one in the jury is too anxious to join him.
The jury is pretty fair compared to past seasons.  Carter comes up looking like he just got a prescription from one of the Philippines street pharmacists.  Artis doesn't ask any questions he just vents. Skupin lies to RC saying he thought Penner was going home when she got voted out.  Of course he told her he was voting for Pete when she went home.  I would of loved for RC to bring that up.  She does find the whole thing pretty amusing and can't stop giggling during her entire speech as well as the finalists responses.  Malcolm scolds Denise and she continues to give hope to Lisa and Skupin by telling him "I'm sitting here, and you're standing there". 
In true Abi fashion she acts like a huge drama queen during her turn but no one is more harsh then Penner.  Penner calls Denise a bitch and exposes Lisa's secret, which doesn't get that big of a reaction.  He also calls Skupin on his argument that he was always a target.  As Penner points out Skupin has never had his name written down while Jonathan had his name written down 15 times.  Penner suggests this could be a record.  As I reported a few weeks ago Penner did break Ozzy's record of most votes cast against a single Survivor with a total of 29 over three seasons.  Penner also suggests that Skupin will probably see his name written down that night as many times tonight as it was in the game.  In a way he's correct.  Skupin get's one vote from Carter although Carter doesn't write "Skupin" but instead writes "SKOOPIN".
Back in America before we get to hear who the winner is, like we don't know, Probst ask for a moment of silence for the tragedy which occurred on my birthday last Friday.  We already know that RC voted for Lisa and it's no surprise to find out the she and Carter are the only ones not to vote for Denise.  Even Abi voted for Denise!  So for the SIXTH time out of seven seasons to feature returning players the winner turns out to be a female.

The reunion starts off pretty ordinary.  Probst asks Malcolm if he would consider coming back.  This is a blatant effort to plant doubts in peoples minds that Malcolm is returning next season.  Malcolm nonchalantly says he would consider it.  Yeah right.  Like isn't dying to come back a third time. 
I really would of liked Probst to ask Lisa and Skupin why they thought they could beat Denise.  I was expecting him to say, "Abi and Malcolm both told you, you don't have a chance against her."  Along those lines Skupin and Lisa do admit they were pretty oblivious to their poor jury management skills.
The most exciting moment of any reunion does occur towards the end.  Jeff is quickly trying to get updates from early victims of the game and when he gets to Dawson he begins to bring up the kiss she planted on his cheek.  Before he can finish his sentence he gets this surprised looked on his face, says "oh my god" and we see Dawson rushing him and planting another kiss on him, but this time right on the lips!  This moment is so outrageous I wonder if it was setup.  We later see Probst talking to Dawson but can't hear anything he's saying.  Was he scolding her, or thanking her, or trying to arrange a booty call?  We'll probably never know.
When the player of the season is announced we find out it was the closest one in Survivor history.  It came down to Malcolm and Lisa.  Lisa edged out Malcolm by less then 1%.  I was a little disappointed in Lisa's game play but seeing one of my childhood crushes come on my favorite show, and not only make it to the end but also win player of the season was extremely thrilling.  Even though, I voted for Malcolm.
And so another season ends.  A pretty good one all things considered.  See you in February for Fans Vs Favorites 2, unless the Mayans are correct, in which case, I'll be seeing you all next week in the afterlife!
  

Friday, December 14, 2012

Survivor Philippines Episode 13 Recap: Take Me To The End MORON!

So last week Abi survived, and the big question is, will she finally admit she was bluffing about her hidden immunity idol?  Well, in an interview, she says she intends to keep doing just that but she spends most of the episode making it painfully obvious she has nothing up her sleeve.  When they get back to camp from Tribal she immediately starts thanking everyone for not voting her out.  It might of been much smarter for her to tell everyone they should of voted her out last time because now she still has her idol.
Lisa continues to privately express her desire of wanting to take someone to the end that she can beat.  Then we see Malcolm reflecting on this revelation from her.  The question is, will he be smart and do something about it?
Abi is still playing as hard as she can.  In addition to faking an idol the first chance she gets she starts working on Lisa.  Apparently she is still itching to get out Denise.  Lisa doesn't believe Abi about her being on the bottom but wisely plays along to keep Abi close.  I'm sure Lisa knows she's better off giving Abi some hope but not too much hope in order to keep her options open.  The last thing she wants is for Abi to start plotting against her with Malcolm and Denise.  However given the fact that Malcolm has only one more chance to play his idol, and both he and Denise are strong candidates to win immunity she might of been had a better chance getting those two to flip, even though her and Denise have a hate hate relationship.
At the reward challenge players are told they are playing for pizza and whale watching.  They are also told ahead of time that the winner gets to bring two other players with them.  The challenge consists of climbing over a large ramp , then running into the ocean to retrieve two bundles of rings which they must toss onto five pegs.

Skupin jumps out to an early lead and is one ring away from winning but then Malcolm starts to make a comeback and pulls within to just one ring.  In the end Skupin wins the reward and picks Malcolm and Lisa to join him.  When he hears that a helicopter will be transporting them to the reward it brings back memories of the last time he played when he was air lifted out of camp.
Maybe he should of picked Abi to keep her from doing any scheming but given the fact that she was left behind with her new arch enemy Denise that seems pretty unlikely.  Abi has a bad case of sour grapes and sarcastically comments that her vote must not mean anything, indicating she won't be voting for Skupin if she's on the jury.  This might be actually be a strategic move by Abi to try to get him to keep her around to the end since he won't be getting her vote.
It's pretty amusing watching Abi and Denise trying to get along back at camp.  Denise compares it to being on date with a kid that pulled her hair in grade school. Abi continues to try to strategize but doesn't really try to pull in Denise.  Denise just politely agrees with everything she says, trying her best not to lose Abi's jury vote.  Or should I say, trying to win Abi's vote.
On the reward Skupin, who apparently doesn't normally eat sugar, gets "drunk" off of sodas or "pop" as he calls it.  Growing up I used to call soda "pop" but they I realized that few people outside of Illinois use that phrase.  Anyway Skupin starts acting like an idiot, climbing sails, and feeding Lisa cookies of a flipper.  Can't help but think of how much Angie would of enjoyed this reward.  Then they go diving to swim with a giant shark whale.  It isn't caught on camera but we are told that Skupin has a head on collision with the whale. 
Never the less I am very jealous of this reward and my desire to get on Survivor strongly intensifies.
When they come out of the water Malcolm suggests that neither of them can beat Denise and proposes they band together to knock her out soon. Malcolm comments that it will be a blowout if Denise makes it to the end because she hasn't betrayed anyone.  I'm not sure how sound this logic is.  After all, Denise was on Kalabaw and had a hand in all of their exits from the game.  They still all agree though, but Lisa is quick to point out in a private interview that she's keeping her options open.  If it wasn't for Abi, Lisa would probably be the season's primary villain and apparently they STILL have not figured out it's going to be a final two this season.
The next day Denise wakes up in a lot of pain after getting bitten by something.  She has fang marks on her neck.  Maybe Robert Pattinson snuck onto the island.  She's appears to be in so much pain that I'm wondering if she might be evacuated which brings much delight to Abi.  However, after a hardcore healing prayer session she makes it to the immunity challenge.
This challenge is waterless and involves navigating yourself over a rope bridge with two planks while retrieving puzzle pieces that are attached to each bridge.  This pieces form a maze that you must then navigate a ball through to the end.  Malcolm falls behind in the bridge portion when he falls off right at the end but makes a miraculous comeback and wins the challenge.
This gives Malcolm an enormous amount of power since he still has a hidden immunity idol which is useless after the next vote.  This could seal Abi's fate if Malcolm decides to give Denise his idol but after the challenge right before the break we see Denise talking about Abi going home tonight, which is normally and indicator that the person is question isn't going anywhere.  Will Malcolm use this opportunity to get rid of Denise who he expressed a fear of early in the episode?  That seems to be a distinct possibility when Denise asks Malcolm for his Idol and he shows a lot of reluctance, supposedly because he wants to give it to his mom as a souvenir.  Before that we get a comical shot of Skupin cooking something and being thrown back by a spark from the fire.  Judging by his panicked reaction he is still very weary of being around fire.  
At this point Abi has just about given up on playing her phantom idol.  She makes a desperate plea to Skupin and Lisa.  She argues that they have no chance since Denise and Malcolm "such a story".  This leads to a pow wow between Skupin and Lisa where Lisa suggests they seriously consider voting off Denise.   
Then in the middle of tribal council Abi starts calling Skupin an "idiot" and a "moron".  The scene was obviously edited pretty hard and I'm guessing that Skupin probably told her before they left for the tribal that he wasn't voting with her.  Abi pleads her case to Jeff on why they should take her.  I'm surprised Probst didn't confront her about her phantom idol.  He does however get Malcolm to agree how Abi's argument has helped a lot of people win the million dollars and I think he's right.  Like I said last week, if Parvati can win this game you can't count anybody out.  Except of course for Russell Hantz. 
In the end Abi is voted out even without Malcolm playing his idol.  I'm guessing Skupin and Lisa wanted to vote out Denise but got scared that Malcolm would use his idol for her.  I think it was a mistake not to give the idol to Denise.  That could have helped secure her loyalty.  I'm thinking he's probably thinking he's confident in his ability to win the next and what he BELIEVES to be the last immunity challenge.  That may very well prove to be his undoing.  The episode ends with Skupin do a crazy dance back to camp indicating he might still be drunk from too much sugar.  So RC finally gets to have her confrontation with Abi.  It's definitely worth watching and you can do so by clicking HERE



NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  The finale is this Sunday and I'll be looking forward to seeing Angie again.  We know that Malcolm doesn't win so I think it's say he doesn't make it to the final 2.  So that means the final 2 will either be Skupin and Lisa, Skupin and Denise, or Denise and Lisa.  I thing the most likely combination is Denise and Lisa.  I think Denise will probably turn on Malcolm at the final four and then Denise and Lisa will use girl power to get rid of Skupin.  Then again Skupin could win the final immunity or Lisa could get too scared to go up against Denise.  It's still anybody's game.  I don't think Denise is a lock if she makes it to the end because if she betrays Malcolm she'll probably lose his vote, Abi probably won't vote for her.  However, from everything I've heard from post game interviews it sounds as though Lisa makes it to the end but doesn't win.  So the two favorites are probably Skupin or Denise.  Man what a crazy season!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Survivor Philippines Recap Episode 12: Buckets of Slobbering and Back Stabbing!

Before I begin this weeks recap I need to admit that I forgot to mention last time that with the four votes he received last week,  Penner has officially broken Ozzy's record of most votes cast against a single player.  Over the course of three seasons Penner has had a staggering 29 votes cast against him.  Good work Jonathan.
Now onto this weeks recap.  We're now down to the final 6!  Three Tandang's, two Matsing's, and one Kalabaw!  Who will survive this episode?  The episode begins right after last weeks tribal and Abi starts it off by an unbelievable display of clairvoyant powers when she announces that it's clear to her that there's an alliance between Malcolm, Denise, Skupin, and Lisa.  Wow, eat your heart out Kreskin!  She continues to play her fake idol, however.  It's her only defense, knowing full well she has almost no chance at winning another immunity.
Immediately after the first commercial break we jump strait to the reward challenge.  This is the week for visits from loved ones which leads to the most disgusting emotional outbursts in Survivor history.  The main perpetrators are Skupin, Lisa, and Denise.  As soon as Probst makes the announcement Skupin immediately starts crying at the top of his lungs.  He is also the first to get to see his loved one and he proceeds to slobber all over his son.  When Denise's husband comes out she jumps on top of him and blows snot all over his shirt, which Probst is happy to point out.  It's been a while since Lisa has done any professional acting, but she evidently still has a huge fear of being upstaged.  Not wanting to be out-shined by Skupin or Denise, Lisa has a meltdown so intense at the sight of her brother, that her face looks like one the melting nazi faces from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The challenge involves castaways tossing muddy bags to their loved ones who must throw them to knock over a group of short bamboo poles on platforms.  Winner gets to take their loved one back to camp until the next day.  In light of last weeks teaser it's no surprise when Malcolm wins.  Probst gives him the opportunity to pick another Survivor's loved one and he surprisingly chooses the Texas Girl that threw him under the bus a few weeks ago instead of his long time ally Denise.  Skupin asks Malcolm to ask for another one.  He does and Probst grants his request, to which Malcolm again disses Denise and chooses Skupin.  Malcolm reveals this was done to reward them for sticking with him and Denise at the last vote.  I expected to hear some bitching from Denise about Malcolm's choice.  It may very well have occurred but is not a part of the final edit.  As Carter's mom leaves, Skupin starts telling her over, and over, and over, AND OVER AGAIN about what a hell of guy Carter is.  It's painfully obvious that the jury marching wind has shifted sharply from Abi to Carter.
Back at camp Lisa and Skupin reward Malcolm's generosity by immediately plotting to blindside him at the next vote.  They realize Malcolm will be hard to beat in the finals and none of the players have yet to figure out that this season is going to be a final two.  At first, Lisa is firm, or at least pretends to be firm in keeping to her word, THIS TIME, but then her brother advises her that Malcolm might respect getting blindsided by her.  Yeah right.  There have been a couple morons in Survivor history to actually respect being voted out but Malcolm is not nearly as dumb as Brandon Hantz, John Fincher, or Shambo.  Still this is enough to bring back Lisa's greedy side who begins to gleefully orchestrate Malcolm's demise.
I know this is game for a million dollars but I have always had a real problem with people turning on a player that just gave them a reward.  I know it's been done many times in Survivor but I still don't like it.  Especially when you're pretty much guaranteed to make the final four with the player in question.  I also think it creates really bad karma for yourself when you do that.  I'm talking to you Stephanie Lagrosa!  At least they didn't swear to God like Dreamz from Figi but its still pretty despicable of them in my book.   
In an effort to clear their conscious's they pray to God that his will be done.  That way when Malcolm loses the immunity challenge they can say, we were doing God's will by blindsiding you Malcolm.  They also ponder how Jesus would probably look a lot like Malcolm if he were to play Survivor.  How ironic that the immunity challenge takes place on day 33, which is how old Jesus was when he died.  So will Malcolm's game die at 33 as Jesus did?
Well the challenge consists of players running out into the water to retrieve three bags of sticks and ropes.  They must then use these materials to form one big pole to reach over to a target to activate the immunity flag.  Everyone plays like it's the final immunity challenge, everyone, that is, except for Abi who seems to be on a holiday during the challenge, which absolutely infuriates Probst.  It's never said in the episode, but I for one believe this was a strategic move by Abi.  I think she knew she didn't have much of a chance to win, so she decided to act like she didn't need it, in a effort to convince everyone she has a hidden immunity idol.
Lisa, Skupin, and Carter jump out to an early lead with their pole building but their poles aren't strong enough to push the target.  Malcolm who has no idea how much he needs this, takes the advice of the tortoise and goes slow and steady to build a strong pole.  Then for the third time since the merge, the player who needs it the most, wins immunity, even though he didn't know it.  This leads to Lisa doing a very weird impression of a sports announcer calling her defeat.  Another sign that Lisa is losing it.
Back at camp Lisa and Skupin are both bummed.  Lisa acknowledges that they did pray to God for the best result.  Skupin is so into the conversation he points out a huge ant crawling on a nearby branch.  Doh!  Could Skupin be related to Homer Simpson?
So now the tribe has to decide between Carter and Abi.  It's hard to say who it will be, because Carter isn't putting any effort into saving himself and Abi seems to be putting forth a huge effort to annoy everyone.  At one point Denise pleads with Abi to drop the subject but that only encourages her to continue more strongly.  Abi points out how Denise doesn't have to worry because she's in the final four already.  Then Lisa and Abi get into it.  Lisa admits she may have to write down Denise's name at the final four but she's not doing it until that time.  Denise adds that she would not begrudge her for doing that.  Yeah right, and monkey's will fly out of my butt!  What she means to say is, "I won't begrudge you, as long as I'm not the one voted off that night!"
To her credit, Abi doesn't give up and continues to play her imaginary idol.  Her reasoning is, that if you tell a lie long enough, people will start to believe it.  She admits that even she now believes she has a fake idol.  That's probably how she convinced herself for so long that everyone didn't hate her.  Malcolm also admits that Abi's fake idol has to be considered along with Carter's dangerous challenge ability.
I'm not surprised by Carter's lack of scrambling but still disappointed.  He revealed in a post game interview that Lisa and Skupin had approached him about getting rid of Malcolm before he won immunity.  If he had been smart he would tried dropping the dime on Skupin and Lisa to Malcolm and Denise and tried to target one of them instead of being focused on Abi.
When it gets to tribal council I'm still thinking Abi is toast.  She's so desperate she even tells Probst that she has an idol and intends on playing it tonight.  Carter does speak up for himself by saying that there's been a lot of talk about taking people to the end who are deserving.  Lisa gives a hint to the outcome of the vote by saying she wants to bring people along who she can beat.  No one seems to believe Abi has an idol but they still vote out Carter much to RC's disappointment who must once again continue to play the waiting game to confront her nemesis!  So that's the end of Kalabaw!  Unless you count Denise.

Abi has gotten a lot of criticism from a lot of people over her outrageous game style, including myself, but when all is said and done, she's made it to the final five.  There are two returning players and a former professional athlete who would love to be where she's at right now.  She's also in a very good position now to squeeze into the final three.  She just needs one of the two sub alliances to flip over to the dark side.  If she can get Lisa to take her to the end she may be able to pull out the biggest miracle in Survivor history and actually win this game.  You may now all release a collective groan at that prospect.  I know that's very unlikely, and I think she's most likely going home next week, BUT if the wicked Parvati can win a season anything can happen here.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  Only one more episode until the finale and as long as Malcolm isn't stupid enough to not play his idol he's guaranteed a spot in the final four.  If he can win immunity he can give his idol to Denise which almost certainly will seal Abi's fate at last!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Survivor Phillipines Recap Episode 11: ABSOULTELY Abi's episode!


I've come up with a new drinking game.  Every time Abi says "absolutely" you take a shot.  I guarantee you'll be hammered by the end of the episode!  Judging by her extensive use of it, I think that must of been the first word Abi learned to say in English.  Funny thing is half the tribe has started to jump on the bandwagon.  Mostly at tribal council.
Malcolm "ABSOLUTELY, I don't want to get into an argument with Penner" (to Lisa)"I would ABSOLUTELY trust you in the 11th hour"
Lisa "Penner that is ABSOLUTELY part of my consideration"

Well Abi ABSOLUTELY appears to be a dead woman walking but looks can be deceiving.  By ganging up on her the tribe has lit a fire under her ass, at that's very dangerous for a hot head like her.  Speaking of Abi's ass, it's Survivor Auction on this weeks episode and Abi has a plan to save her bountiful ass for at least one more vote.  Instead of trying to buy any food she decides to patiently wait for the inevitable advantage item, and the rest of the hungry tribe isn't about to stop her!
First Denise blows all her money on pancakes, bacon and tall glass of orange juice.  Skupin remarks how he could get the same meal at a diner for $1.99.  Something tells me Skupin hasn't ate at a diner for a long time because you can't even get a large glass of orange juice for that much at most diners.  Then remarkably on the very next item Skupin immediately blows all his money before Jeff can even describe the item, which looks to be a glass of wine with cheese and crackers?  Apparently Skupin is STILL smarting from that blow to the head he received from Abi's runaway coconut.
Eventually Jeff reveals the advantage item and without any hesitation Abi immediately bids every cent she has.  I was actually surprised Abi had enough knowledge of the game to make this move.  I had assumed she had been a recruit who hadn't watched the show much, but she even later remarks on how she has seen auctions in the past.  This actually increased my respect of Abi a little bit.  The only question is will her gamble pay off?
Well luckily, even though she spent all her money on an advantage she doesn't have to leave the auction on an empty stomach.  Carter buys the last item which is covered and when Probst reveals it as a heap of veal shanks, he also reveals that it's for the entire tribe with a 60 second clock.  This is the second time Carter has been able to provide for the tribe during the auction because earlier he was given the choice of trading his meal for bags of rice and beans, which he took.  These were the only two times contestants were allowed to share during the auction.  They could not pool money or share food.
In the beginning of the episode Malcolm does some jury marching by consoling Abi as they get tree mail.  We know it's pretty insincere because later in the episode he compares her to an ex girlfriend who won't go away.  Still we can't really blame him for trying to secure her vote.  Seems like that's a common thread lately.  Several hardcore gamers are trying to get Abi's vote.  Lisa did it when she handed Abi her torch at the end of last weeks episode and Penner is also doing it this episode.  After the auction Penner and Abi get into a very dramatic discussion with Abi continuing to garner sympathy from everyone and whining about getting destroyed.  Penner tries to defend himself and the tribe and also make a little peace.  Of course in Penner's case he may also be preparing for Abi winning immunity now that she has an advantage which is still a mystery to everyone.
Abi reads the note and finds out it allows her to automatically jump to the final round of the immunity challenge.  Knowing that this may not be enough to save her she hatches a plan and pretends that it's also a clue to hidden immunity idol.  She goes to Malcolm and tries to make a deal by telling him that she doesn't think she's going home at the next tribal because she now has another idol.  Despite all her flaws you gotta admire Abi's tenacity.  This girl never gives up!  She is one of those characters that you just love to hate!  Not like Russell where you just plain hated him.  At least Abi doesn't try to be an asshole.  I do think she over played her hand here though.  She should of just told Malcolm that she wasn't going home and hope that he would assume that she has an idol. Then she should of targeted Penner or Lisa.
At the immunity challenge Probst asks Abi to read the note she got at the auction.  She tells him there are two parts of the message and it's up to her to read the second part.  She then reads how she gets to jump to the final round of the challenge then ever the drama queen she rips up the note.  Probst, who as a producer of the show has a vested interest in seeing Abi survive doesn't drop the dime on her and just says "ok" during her blatant lie.  I know that inside, Probst is loving Abi's assertiveness.
The challenge consist of three stages.  To give Abi an even bigger advantage players must answer questions before each round and if they get it wrong they must carry bags of sand equaling 5% of their body weight.  Lisa is eliminated in the first round, then Penner and Carter finish the second round first to face off against Abi in the last round.  For some reason we don't get to hear the triva questions on the last two rounds but Abi and Penner get it right.  Unless they made Abi exempt from the questions but cut that out to keep people crying favoritism.  Penner also answered the first two correctly so both he and Abi are clean.  Carter on the other hand has missed two questions and must carry 10% of his body weight through this last round.
Denise predicts that Abi doesn't stand a chance but she takes off to an early lead flying through the maze like a woman possessed.  Carter gets hot on her tail while Penner doesn't come close.  Everyone is rooting for Carter but he comes up just a little short.  Who'd of thunk it?  Abi wins immunity which almost makes Denise throw up.  Of course that doesn't stop her from politely applauding Abi's victory.  As Probst dons the immunity necklace on Abi he comments on her survivor journey, "you've gone from being on top, to being on the bottom, to being an outcast, to being safe!" and Abi has gained a little more respect from me.
There's been a lot of speculation on the survivor boards that the challenges in this episode were designed to help Abi avoid being voted out.  I have to say there might be something to that.  At the auction no one was allowed to pool money like they've been able to do in the past, thus making it impossible for the rest of the tribe to gang up and outbid her on the advantage item.  There was also the fact that the final item had to be shared by everyone in the tribe, thus making sure no one had a huge hunger advantage against Abi at the immunity challenge.  Then there was the fact of contestants having to answer questions that caused them to be weighed down if they got it wrong during the first two rounds of the immunity challenge that Abi didn't have to participate in.  I wouldn't be surprised if a producer advised her on the auction move she ended up making.  Despite all that I'm not too upset if that was the case.  Even if the person isn't liked, it always makes for some great tv when the one person who everyone wants out ends up winning immunity.  And lets not forget that the rest of the tribe could of saved their money just like Abi did and could of tried to bid on the advantage item.  I do think they should of made it a little less obvious and given Carter the choice to share his veal shanks, but told him if he did he had to share it with everyone.

Back at camp Lisa continues to try to trump Abi on being the tribe drama queen.  She admits uncertainty to her final four alliance who has targeted Penner.  Lisa immediately goes running to Penner and starts dropping dimes.  However she tells him she's going to stick with her alliance and vote for him but she hopes he can get someone else to flop.  Translation, I want to face you in the finals but I don't want to be the bad guy.  Bet he's wishing he had taken Lisa and Skupin up on their offer last week.
He secures Abi and Carter's vote against Denise but he needs one more and his only option is Skupin. 
Right before tribal council.  Skupin says he believes he can beat Penner in the final three.  This tells me Penner is doomed and going home tonight.

Penner pleads his case to the best of his ability but it's not enough for this Academy Award winner.  Yes, that's right.  Jonathan actually has won an Academy Award. During the vote Jonathan yells out Denise's name while he writes it down and Abi sticks her tongue out at Denise when she goes to vote.  Unfortunately for them, Skupin and Lisa both vote for Jonathan and RC has to wait at least one more tribal for her confrontation with her nemesis Abi.  Penner gives Carter a hug goodbye then Abi tries to hug him but he tells her to get lost.  He then tells the rest of the tribe to suck eggs and leaves whistling zippity do da or something.  Personally I think Penner owed Abi a hug after she tried to keep him in the game even when he told her to get lost last week when she tried to align with him.
A few weeks ago I predicted that neither Jonathon, Malcolm or Carter could win this game.  Well Jonathon is out, and we know Malcolm isn't winning because he's coming back next season.  I'm now thinking that neither one makes it to the final three because I'm sure they would win if they did.  I just can't see Carter winning after he was practically invisible during the first three episodes.  I can't believe they would edit a winner like that.  That leaves Lisa, Denise, Abi and Skupin.  All of these people have so many enemies on the jury that I don't know who's going to win.  Judging by Jeff Kent's post game interviews Lisa makes it to the final three but doesn't win.   That leaves Denise, Abi and Skupin.  Could Abi actually win?  Could she pull off the biggest miracle in survivor history?  With only six left people could end up getting greedy and decide to take her to the end because they think she can't be beat.  I'm actually thinking that this last group of people could result in the first ever tie for first place.  That would be a great twist to a great season.


NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  Will Abi win immunity again and make it to the finale?  Will Malcolm finally use his idol because of his big mouth brother?  If Abi doesn't win immunity will a new alliance emerge that wants to take her to the end?  There's only six left so that means just one more episode before the finale, right?  WRONG!  That's what I thought but after watching Survivor Live After Show and checking tvguide.com I've discovered that there are still two more episodes before the finale.  So I guess for the first time in years the finale will have just four people left in the game and will air December 16.



To see some pretty funny footage of Abi gloating click here

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Survivor Phillipines Episode 10 Recap: Boomerang!

What goes around comes around, and it's coming around hard to Tandang with a vengeance right now on Survivor.  The once indestructible tribe is now on the ropes.  With Artis's outing last week after Skupin's defection, Lisa is now finally ready to jump on the bandwagon leaving Pete and Abi on the outside.  Abi does her best to patch things up with Lisa after tribal council but it's too little too later.  Lisa talks about how the other alliance is being so nice to her.  Even Abi can tell that they're schmoozing Lisa to get her vote.  I'm sure deep down Lisa probably knows this, but she also realizes Tandang is a sinking ship and now all of sudden she has no desire of being "loyal" to Tandang.
The wheeling and dealing doesn't stop on this weeks episode.  Everybody is trying to make an alliance with everybody.  Denise tries to set up a final four with her Skupin, Penner and Malcolm.  Skupin, who wants to go to the end with Lisa, doesn't commit and says they should wait until six and then fight it out.  Soon afterwards he's trying to make a final four with Malcolm, Denise and Lisa.  Lisa says she trust Penner and Carter more though.  Translation: I think Penner will be easier to beat the Malcolm or Denise.  Penner however doesn't want to commit to an alliance with them.  Then of course there is the scrambling that takes place after the immunity challenge, but more on that later.  Confused yet?
At the reward challenge they are once again split up into teams.  The red team is Malcolm, Pete, Abi, and Carter.  The Yellow team is Skupin, Penner, Denise, and Lisa.  There are three rings with drums for each team in each ring.  The object is for one team member from each team to race between the rings and get all three of their drums facing up at the same time.  The red team takes an early lead until Abi forgets it's a competition and flips over both drums.  Fortunately for them Skupin must still be smarting from that coconut Abi deflected to his head last episode, because he does the same thing!  Red team wins and gets to enjoy a day at a spa.
Guess what happens when they get back?  Abi is unable to keep her mouth shut about how great it was.  She lounges around in front of people complaining about her bursting stomach.  Denise comments on Abi's lack of social graces just a few feet away from her.  Abi overhears and declares that she's going on strike against cooking.  Denise is like "good to know".  Despite all her flaws you have to admire Abi's feistiness.  Even being in a near hopeless situation isn't enough to difuse the Brazilian firecracker.  This girl gives all new meaning to the word stubborn. 
The only thing that can turn this game around is if Pete or Abi can win immunity.  Given the fact that the reward refueled them they do have pretty good odds.  Of course Malcolm and Carter also have full bellies.
The challenge consist of three rounds of navigating bouey's through a series of ropes.  Unfortunately the drama ends very quickly when Pete and Abi are eliminated during the first round.  Carter ends up beating Denise and Skupin in the final round.
Well, the editors have done a pretty good job of throwing us off of the show's outcomes, both for the season and individual episodes.  This week, however, they really have their work cut out for them.  The power alliance decides to split their votes against Abi and Pete.  Abi and Pete realize this, so they decide to target Malcolm. First they try to sway Lisa.  No go.  Then they go to Carter.  Not interested.  Next they try Penner who they've tried so hard to get out.  Penner bluntly tells Abi it's not gonna happen and while she played a good game she's not gonna win this time.  Knowing they have no chance with Denise they go to their last option, which is Skupin.  He's the first one who doesn't completely blow them off.  Unfortunately they've done so much scrambling that Malcolm catches wind of their plan.  This really decreases their chances of success since whoever flips will not only have to face the wrath of their alliance if it works but they will also have to pray that Malcolm doesn't use his idol.
Abi is the star of this weeks tribal.  As soon as the jury comes in she starts catcalling to Artis.  Then she takes a lot of heat from Jeff and the tribe.  In particular, Denise, who tries on several occasions to teach Abi the error of his ways but Abi interrupts her continuously until Denise gives up.  Abi shocks Probst by revealing her ignorance of not being liked.  She tries to defend herself by saying English is not her first language and she's not completely familiar with the ways of our culture.  Probst is sympathetic but other then Pete he's the only one. 
Speaking of Pete, he ends up digging himself deeper in his grave when he announces his intention to take out Malcolm.  Pete has played a pretty good game up until this point but this error in judgement shows his need to brush up on Survivor 101.  If you're gonna blindside someone with an idol, don't announce it at tribal!  You're just making it that much harder for someone to flip over to your side.
In the end Abi is reduced to tears, much to RC's delight, Malcolm doesn't use his idol, Abi does use hers, and Pete finally goes home.  Abi was such a mess I half expected her to give her idol to Pete.  At least she's not a quitter.  She obviously intends to go down swinging.
When they leave Abi says goodbye to the jury.  Isn't there a rule about not addressing the jury?  Anyway, RC and Jeff just roll their eyes at her disingenuous gesture.  She then starts to leave without her torch.  In an obvious effort to win her jury vote Lisa hands Abi her torch, to which Abi humbly thanks her.   
I have to say I actually feel a little bad for Abi.  The truth is that it is very hard to learn a foreign language and in a game that has a strong emphasis on communication skills she has been at big disadvantage from the beginning.  I've been trying to learn Spanish for over five years now and still can't speak it half as well as Abi can speak English.  I'm not saying that she's not a complete psycho bitch, however like most psycho bitches I'm sure she doesn't see herself that way and probably doesn't mean to be so annoying.  I think there is something to the fact that she comes from a different culture.  Hopefully this experience will soften her up a bit, which is another great thing about the Survivor experience. 

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  Will Abi continue to break down as the game continues to humble her?  Or will she pull a rabbit out of her hat and shake the game up again?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Survivor Phillipines Episode 9 Recap: Skupin's Revenge!


Back at camp after tribal council, Abi is furious at Mike for voting for her.  Imagine that.  Abi losing her temper.  Little does she know Skupin voted with her alliance and Penner was the one who voted for her.  He claims it was because he wasn't told about plan B.  I must of missed the part where Penner joined Abi's alliance.
In an enormously generous gesture Malcolm forgives Lisa.  I'm not sure what that was about but I'm pretty sure he has something up his sleeve with that move.  Penner also tries to repair the bridge that Lisa burned with him by playing amateur psychologist.  This brings Lisa to tears but she's still not ready to get on board team Penner.
The reward challenge is once again done in teams.  Abi sits out yet another challenge when she isn't picked by either team, which makes her ineligible for the reward.  This irks me a little.  First of all, I've never liked post merge reward challenges being done in teams.  I think they should do like they did in the early days and let them all be individual challenges after the merge.  If they want to allow the winner to bring three people along, I have no problem with that.  It bothers me even more when a player has no shot at winning a reward.  I believe every player who comes to a challenge should be given a chance to win.  I am certainly not a fan of Abi's, but fair is fair.  After all, how many rewards did she get to share in, when she sat out challenges prior to the merge?  At the very least they should of done as they've done in the past when they've had an odd number of players and allowed her to pick a side to root for.  Then if her team won she got to go on reward.
Ok, time for me to get off my soap box and describe the actual challenge.  Since they did a school yard pick, instead of drawing for teams, it's no surprise when the teams are divided by alliances with Skupin, Pete, Artis, and Lisa on one team and Penner, Denise, Malcolm, and Carter on the other team.  In the challenge each person has to go through an short obstacle course, then dig up a sack of balls, then shoot the balls into a basket once all four sacks are retrieved.  The first runners are Penner and Skupin.  Although the mud pit where the balls are buried is meant to have each sack of balls dug up by each runner, Penner uses the strategy of digging all the sacks up at once.  Not sure how that saves time, but his teams ends up taking a big lead and have only 3 balls left before the Tandang has all their sacks untied.  Tandang makes a strong comeback when Kalabaw has trouble getting their last ball in, but it's not enough.  Team Penner prevails and gets to go to a local village and act as Survivor ambassadors to give away school supplies.  They also get to partake in a feast prepared by villagers.  Malcolm especially becomes very sentimental and questions his decision to stop teaching poor kids in Micronesia over slinging drinks for girls.
Back at camp Abi continues her quest to overtake Russell Hantz in having the worst social game in Survivor history by berating Lisa for leaking information.  Great way to win her back over.  While she's doing this it's not too hard to imagine Pete and Artis wanting to tape her mouth shut.  Due to this, Lisa considers defecting but is still tempted by the dark side.  Pete on the other hand realizes he finally needs to make Mike feel comfortable.  Probably should of been doing that before the fourth week of the game.  Even if you want somebody out, you should never ostracize them because you never know when you might need them.  That's why God invented blindsides.

The immunity challenge is an interesting spin on past balancing challenges.  For this one each player has a paddle with six holes on the surface that one must slide balls down a ramp connected to the paddle and into the holes.  The challenge turns out to be complete blowout with only Mike and Pete getting any balls in their holes.  This immunity challenge is held on day 23 and just as it was in basketball, that number turns out to be very good for a guy named Michael.  Skupin wins the challenge by a wide margin and is safe at tonight's vote. Now the question is will he stay loyal to Tandang or finally flip over to Kalabaw.
While he's pondering which way to go, Abi doesn't help her cause much when she accidentally deflects a coconut off a tree right at Skupins noggin.  So even when he manages to get through an episode without hurting himself, Skupin still gets knocked around.  This has to be the most accident prone guy on the planet.  In case you didn't know, he was actually in a plane crash since the first time he played Survivor.   
Jonathon is working on Lisa some more by appealing to her sense of morals by informing her that the audience isn't going to like her aligning with the bad guys.  This seems like a desperate play since I've never seen too many players who managed their game play by what they thought the audience wanted.  As long as America doesn't get a vote it will probably always be that way.  Not surprisingly, Lisa keeps on saying that she wants to be loyal to Tandang.  I think what she really means to say though, is that she wants to be sitting next to people everyone else hates at the final tribal council.  Skupin on the other hand is itching to flip.  The good thing for Kalabaw is at this point they only need one of them to flip as long as Penner doesn't make another bonehead vote.
Kalabaw decides to target Artis because they know Abi will never give him the idol.  They try their best to enlist Lisa and Skupin in the plan which I thought was a mistake, especially with Lisa's loose lips.  If I were them I would of went to them and said "hey, we can't tell you who we're voting for, but all you have to do is not vote with the fearsome threesome."  That way it would be a vote of 3 to 4.  Of course if only one of them flipped it would come down to a tie, but as long as one person flipped, that person could vote with Kalabaw on the revote.
At tribal council it ends up coming down to Penner and Artis, although Artis seems to be oblivious to this.    Luckily for Penner he decides to vote along with his alliance this week and Artis is sent home.  The four votes from Tandang for Penner does put him within striking distance of breaking Ozzy's record of most votes cast against a player.  He's already overtaken Russell Hantz's and now needs only three more votes against him to break Ozzy's record of 27.
I was sure that Lisa and Skupin would vote together so when I saw four votes for Penner I was certain he was a goner.  However Skupin decides to finally vote against Tandang.  Judging by the furious look Abi gives Lisa after the vote, she is once again misjudging on how Skupin voted.  Looking back, all the air time that Artis got this week should of been a clue to his departure.  I think Artis got more air time this week then every other episode of the season put together.
The episode ends with a shot of an elated RC and Jeff Kent do his best to ignore her.  You can see more of this behavior if you watch the Ponderosa videos.  There's one scene where they are eating and RC is desperately trying to get Kent's attention and he's got his back almost turned completely towards her.  I don't know if RC really is that annoying or if he's just trying to make sure his wife doesn't get jealous.


NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! Will an alliance hold up for two whole weeks in a row?  If Kalabaw manages to do that the remaining Tandang could be in trouble.  The most interesting scenario is if Abi or Pete, and especially Pete win immunity.  That could put Lisa in serious danger.












Thursday, November 8, 2012

Survivor Phillipines Episode 8 Recap: Dumbest Vote EVER!



Jeff Probst concluded tonight's episode by saying "that vote may go down as the biggest blown opportunity in the history of this game".  Couldn't of said it better myself.  After Penner does the unthinkable and throws a monkey wrench in the tribes plans by actually winning his first individual immunity, the vote would still seem to be pretty strait forward.  Vote for the other veteran Skupin, but instead all hell breaks loose after the immunity challenge, with Malcolm, Pete and Jeff getting targets on their backs.  How did this happen?
Well the episode stars off with a very awkward return from tribal council where Penner confronts his alliance about betraying him.  Penner says he's not giving up but despite reassurances from Skupin, he appears to be a dead man walking.
Then we go to a tense reward challenge which despite the merge is still a team effort with the tribe split into groups of fine.  You have Penner, Jeff, Lisa, Denise, and Malcolm on one side and Pete, Artis, Abi, Skupin, and Carter on the other side.  The teams go back in forth on the water portion of the challenge but Skupin, of all people, blows the lead for his team.
Back at camp, with RC gone, Abi must find someone new to fight with, and that someone turns out to be Pete.  He confesses his desire to vote her off, but that desire is superseded by the knowledge that if he goes against her at the end she'll be easy to beat. 
We learn from Lisa, that Jeff may not be as dumb as we thought, and there is a plan for the two of them to team up with Malcolm, Denise, and Carter to take out the evil three Artis, Abi, and Pete after they've taken out the veterans.  But after the reward Lisa starts to get greedy and stupid.  She decides final three with Malcolm and Denise is to risky so she believes it's a better idea to go to the final three with Artis, Abi, and Pete because no one likes them and they'll be easy to beat.  There's only one problem with that brilliant plan, which is you can't go to the final three with four people.  Unfortunatley Lisa's math skills aren't good enough for her to see this.  Unless she's thinking that Artis, Pete, or Abi will volunteer to drop out of the game when they get to four, which is even stupider.
Despite this obvious absurdity she immediately starts dropping the dime about Malcolm's idol first to Mike then later to Pete.  A few days ago I posted an article that named Lisa as having the best chance of winning the game.  She was in a fantastic position.  All she had to do was stick to the plan.  Take out the veterans and she's at the final eight.  Then team up with Malcolm, Denise, Jeff, and Carter to take out the evil three and she's at final five.  Then team up with Malcolm and Denise to take out Jeff and Carter and bam!  She's final three and gets to plead her case for the million dollars.  Instead for some inexplicable reason she decides to try doing the impossible by taking four people to the final three!  This move is so ridiculous and out of character I seriously wonder if she's being bribed by the producers to throw a monkey wrench into everyone's plans in an effort to create drama and unpredictability.  I hope they're paying her a lot because now I would have to say that Abi and Artis have a better chance at winning.  It's true that Malcolm probably could of done a better job of assuring Lisa.  He should of explained to her more thoroughly that he was her best option. 
When the first episode aired I predicted Dawson would win.  I guess this is what comes from being a Cubs fan.  Anyone you pick to win ends up going down in flames.  With that in mind I would like to officially change my prediction to Abi!
Lisa still wants to vote out Penner on the next vote though, and so does everyone else.  Only thing that can save Penner is individual immunity.  The challenge is in two parts.  The first is gathering puzzle pieces then solving the actual puzzle.  The first three to get their pieces across a finish line move on.  Penner just barely beats out Skupin as he dives across the finish line as if he's scoring a touchdown.  He still has to beat Jeff and Pete though.  As the next portion begins Penner is off to a slow start but he ends up making a miraculous comeback and just barely beats Jeff to solve the puzzle.
At camp the thought by most of the tribe is to vote out Skupin until Lisa decides to create more turmoil.  She runs to Pete and tells him about Malcolm's idol and suggests they target him.  Pete, who has a genuine fondness for Malcolm, confronts him with his intel.  He does his best to play it off but that's not saying much.  Somehow, for reasons I'm still not clear on, Tandang decides to target Jeff and Kalabaw decided to target Pete, with Penner and Skupin becoming safe as kittens.
At tribal council more fireworks occur.  Malcolm calls out Lisa for throwing him under the bus.  Abi criticizes Lisa for turning on Malcolm, saying he was a bigger part of their alliance then Skupin ever was.  Then in a bold move Malcolm borrows a page from One World's Coltons playbook and pulls out his idol and announces he will be playing it tonight.  Probst ask if anyone else wants to admit to having an idol and Abi whips hers out.  Just as Colton did, neither Malcolm or Abi ends up not playing their idol, which is very smart.
Among the chaos, just before the vote, Jonathon makes a plea for the six outsiders to take out the four masterminds, even if that means keeping the two veterans around.  Incredibly the only two people who don't go along with the plan are the two veterans!  Yes that's right.  Skupin who's been constantly whining about not wanting to play with Pete, saves him by voting for Jeff, and then Jonathon who actually suggested the plan to take out Pete votes for Abi!  UNFUCKINGBELIVABLE!
As a result, Pete is spared by one vote for the second week in a row, and Jeff is sent packing.  I don't think I've ever seen a dumber vote ever!
There seems to be a trend this season where if you get greedy you end up going home.  It happened with Dawson, now Jeff and it's sure to infect Lisa very soon.  One person who seems to be immune is Abi.  Last week Jeff was in a great position to take control of the game and he instead decides to target the veterans.  Had he stuck with Jonathon and Mike he would still be in the game.  Lisa was in an even better position and now she's digging her own grave.  Of course, with all the craziness that's occurred this season there's no telling what will happen next week.  Will the tribe finally make a move against the evil three, un I guess it's four now after this weeks actions by Lisa.  Will the entire tribe get rid of trouble making Lisa?  Will a veteran finally go home?  Your guess is as good as mine.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! ???????????????????????




Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Biggest Threats To Win Phillipines


The Jury has begun with RC and we are now down to ten survivors vying for the million dollar prize but who will be left standing to claim the title of sole survivor?  In this article I'll explore who has the best chance of winning.  I think we can eliminate three players right away.  Those being Jonathon, Carter, and Malcolm.  After last weeks episode I believe Jonathon is a dead man walking.  Everyone is gunning him, he's used his idol, and there are still two more in play so it will be a while before a new one is put back into circulation if ever.  So Jonathon will basically have to go on quite an individual immunity run to make it to the end.  Given the fact that Jonathon has never one an individual challenge he has virtually no chance of lasting until the end.  I'm pretty sure he'll be going home this week.
At first I thought Jeff and Carter were dead men too but with the variable of Malcolm and Denise I think Jeff still has an outside chance of making it to the end.  However, even if Carter makes it to the end he's too dumb to win the game.
With an idol still in his pocket that no one suspects he has, Malcolm seems to be in great position.  However, as anyone who has read my article on next season's cast knows, Malcolm is coming back next season for an apparent sequel to Fans Vs Favorites.  Since no winners were brought back last time, it's a safe assumption that Malcolm would not be the only winner to be asked back for this installment.
That leaves seven others.  I'll list them in order of their chances.
First is Artis.  He barely even makes the list of possibilities.  He does however have a fairly strong alliance at this point, and is good at physical challenges so it's quite probable for him to go deep into the game.  However, he hasn't seemed to form any close relationships and I think the only two players he has a shot of beating in votes are Pete and Abi.  Even then he's a long shot.

Next is Jeff.  I think he made a really bad move last week by not taking out Pete.  He had a golden opportunity to take control of the game and he blew it.  I'm even starting to suspect, that maybe the games starting to get to him and subconsiously he may be trying to sabotage himself.  However if his head is still in the game, and he can get Mike, Malcolm, and Lisa to team up with himself, Carter, and Denise to take out Pete, Abi, and Artis, he still has a shot of making it to the end.  Even with his bad knee, I think he's still a big threat at challenges.
Like Jeff and Carter, Mike is very close to being out of this game but we all know what a strong player he is.  When he played in Australia his team dominated in challenges and this season his tribe never went to tribal council.  He'll most likely be voted out soon after Penner but if he and Jeff can team up they might be able to pull a rabbit out their hats.  We can be pretty certain RC will vote for him over anyone else.  Of course Pete, Artis and Abi are highly unlikely to vote for him if they end up on the jury.
That brings us to Abi who barely makes it ahead of Jeff and Mike.  Like Artis she has a strong alliance and is very powerful with her idol, but she's playing the worst social game since Russell Hantz.  If this article were about who is most likely to make it to the final episode, she would be at the top of the list.  To have any hope of winning she's going to have to be sitting next to Artis and someone else pretty bad.  Her best chance would probably be against Artis and Carter.  Another thing she has going for her is the fact that she is a woman and in five of the six previous seasons to feature returning players the winner has been a woman.

One spot ahead of Abi by a wide margin is her partner in crime Pete.  This guy has to be one of the biggest surprises of any player in Survivor history.  When the game began he seemed destined to be a typical dumb jock who wouldn't do much of anything but he is playing an shockingly clever and strategic game that makes me wonder if he's related to Boston Rob.  So will Pete actually win!?  If Jeff continues to play badly Pete has a great shot.  However he has two things going against him.  He's a man and RC and Mike will only vote for him if he's sitting next to Abi and Artis.  Of course that combination is a very strong possibility at this point.
Now we have someone who has been to every tribal council, and that's Denise.  Can Denise become the first survivor to go to every tribal council of the season?  Although her situation was once bleak she now has a lot of things going for her.  While she may not be the best player of the season she probably has the highest IQ and she's extremely fit, which makes her a HUGE threat in challenges (She already has one win under her belt). She's also well liked by just about everyone and like Abi she's a woman.  Lastly, she's aligned with someone in possession of an idol. 
That leaves us with one last player.  I NEVER would of imagined I'd be saying this when I first heard she was going to be on the show but I believe Lisa "Blair Warner" Welchel is the current favorite to win this season!  After the first two episodes her chances of even making the merge seemed pretty slim but I'm reminded of how the editors made Boston Rob look to be in danger during the first few episodes of Redemption Island.  Could those scenes of Lisa breaking down have been a red herring to throw us all off?  That possibility seems to be growing with each episode.  We saw Amazon winner Jenna and South Pacific winner Sophie in similar situations.  Lisa is in a strong alliance with Tandang and now has a backup sub alliance with Malcolm and Denise.  So she's basically aligned with two people who have idols.  She may not be much of a threat in physical challenges but her performance in pre-merge challenges shows she's no slouch at mental challenges.  She's also demonstrated strong speaking skills at her first tribal council.  This is no surprise given the fact that she's made millions of dollars as a performer, which will give her a huge edge if she makes it to the last tribal council.
Now I believe the final five will probably be Abi, Pete, Malcolm, Lisa, and either Denise or Artis.  I think Pete and Abi will probably be in the final three.  If Lisa goes up against those two she may very well win by unanimous vote.  Personally nothing would make me happier then to see my childhood crush win Survivor!  Go Lisa!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Survivor Phillipines Episode 7 Recap: On your mark! Get set! SCRAMBLE!

When this episode started off with a full opening credits montage I immediately feared this would not be a top notch episode.  In recent years they've gone to quicker beginnings to leave more room for story telling, so the full opening would suggest that this episode would be a little light on drama but nothing could be further from the truth.  Instead it turns out to be one of the biggest nail biters of the season.
The episode begins with a boat coming in with some exciting news and we get a great shot of RC bouncing toward the beach.  I swear she gets hotter with every episode.  The big news of course is that the two tribes are merging and they have ten minutes to gather whatever they can to take to their new camp site.  Skupin is especially happy to make the merge in one piece.
This merge has one of the most interesting dynamics of any one in recent memory.  You have one tribe that is down three members against another tribe that is larger but totally divided.  Lisa Welchel's tribe does indeed make it to the merge undefeated.  Only the second tribe in survivor history to do so and the first to never have to go to tribal council (Koror from Palau also never lost an immunity challenge but did have to go to tribal council on an episode where both tribes had to vote someone off).  Never before has a tribe been so successful while being so completely dysfunctional.  RC points out this dysfunction to Lisa and Abi in the middle of a plotting session, which in my opinion was a very bad move.  I see no upside to this whatsoever.  The only thing I can think of, is she was hoping for some reassurance that she wasn't on the outs.  Unfortunately said reassurance never comes.
While the guys are building a new shelter Lisa discovers a big secret about Malcolm.  In effort to make herself look useful Lisa innocently decides to hang everyone's wet clothes up (without telling anyone).  Of course when she gets to Malcolm's bag she finds an idol.  Awkward.
Malcolm sees his clothes hanging up and realizes he's got some tap dancing to do.  He pulls Lisa aside and she plays it perfectly.  Before he says anything she immediately confesses and begs forgiveness.  Not only does Malcolm forgive, he tells her she reminds him of mom and reluctantly offers her final three with himself and Denise (Malcolm's mom must be quite a MILF).  However, not long after he shows signs of wavering in the alliance due to his uncertainty of being able to beat Lisa OR Denise in votes.  Lisa also suspects this might be the case.  On my part, I really hope this alliance holds up.  Malcolm and Lisa are definitely my two favorite players at this point.
Lisa gets involved in some more drama soon after when Penner calls her out on her secret identity.  Unfortunately they don't bother to show this.  We only see the aftermath, which happens in private, so the only ones who know about Lisa is Skupin and Penner.
As if that wasn't enough drama, we see Kent scheming with Pete and Artis.  Despite Kent giving Penner a full five fingered man shake he starts planning Penner's re-movement right away.  Meanwhile Mike is scheming with Penner to take down Pete and Abi.  One tangled web is being woven into place.  Kent agrees to split the vote against RC and Penner, but is still on the fence for the time being.  Oddly enough Malcolm and Denise, who were so close to decimation on Matsing, seem to be the safest players.
Immunity Challenge
Tibal Immunity is no more.  The challenge is hold on to a spool to keep a bucket with 25% of your body weight from crashing down on a tile.  For this challenge there will to winners one man and one woman. Mighty Mouse Denise and Jeff Kent would appear to be the favorites to win.  Pete and RC also seem to be threats but they both drop out quickly along with the two returnees.  Denise does indeed win with Kent, Carter and Artis still fighting it out.  In the middle of the challenge Artis starts making out with his muscles, but apparently his muscles just want to be friends because he soon drops out of the challenge.  Now it's down to Jeff and Carter (who could barely move at the last challenge).  Jeff decides he's had enough soon after Artis is eliminated and gives the win to Carter.
Back at camp RC is completely oblivious that she's on the chopping block but Skupin decides to see how solid Jeff is.  Of course he's not that solid but after talking with Mike he starts to realize that if he flips over to Tandang he "might" be on the bottom.  Might?  I don't think there's any "might" about it.  So he and Carter struggle on which way to move.  The choice to me would be obvious.  If he goes with Skupin and Penner he has a much better chance of taking control of the game.  If he goes with Tandang he's still outnumbered, even though they are willing to take RC out.  However, Jeff is hell bent on getting the veterans out of the game, even if that means settling for a weaker position.
In the middle of all of this is the variable of Malcolm and Denise.  They want to stick together so if Penner and Jeff side with RC and Mike they're also going to have Malcolm to deal with if they want Denise's vote.  Same thing for Pete, Abi and Artis.  So I think what Jeff should do is use RC and Mike to take out Tandang, then use Denise and Malcolm to take out RC, Jonathon, and Mike.  Leaving a final four of Malcolm, Denise, Jeff and Carter.  Unfortunately Jeff doesn't see it this way and he goes after Penner, but we have no clue of this until after the vote.
At tribal council more drama occurs.  For the first time since the game began Denise is completely safe.  Abi and RC get into one last cat fight.  Then Lisa gives a great speech on why people shouldn't flip, even though that's exactly what her alliance is trying to get Jeff and Carter to do.  Apparently Lisa has gotten over her introvertness.  Jeff debates right back with Lisa which suggests he's decided to stick with Penner, but maybe that was his plan.  To try to make Penner feel safe.  If that was the plan it doesn't work because Penner smells a rat and wisely plays his idol.  Even Mike votes for Penner and only Penner and RC vote for Pete.  The result is RC bouncing out of camp and the last of the hotties is gone.  As her torch is snuffed out Abi gives her a gruesome look that's reminiscent of the goblin from the Leprechan movies.
I'm so sad that there will be no more explicit T&A shots of RC but I think that may of been her undoing.  She comes on the show wearing a leopard print teeny bikini that probably threw up all kinds of red flags to her tribe.  Women can be extremely competitive and that may be the real reason Abi turned on her.  It's a shame because I know she was a big fan of the show and other then that seemed to be a very strong player.  Let this be a lesson to future survivor hotties.  Show some skin but don't be careful of being too flamboyant. 
With his idol gone Jonathon is a dead man walking.  In his two previous seasons he never won a single individual immunity challenge and I don't think he's going to be able to do so against all the strong players left in the game, even once.  At first I thought the same thing about Jeff and Carter but they still have a good chance if they can get Denise and Malcolm on their side, which is very possible.  After next week they'll be down to nine players so Lisa could be the swing vote in that scenario.  I have a feeling that the scrambling and backstabbing has just begun.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  Penner does his best to create some chaos before getting the boot.
  

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Survivor Philipines Episode 6 Recap: Blair Warner Gets Down and Dirty!

I can now die a happy man because last night I got to watch Blair Warner wrestling in the mud!  When I was a young boy lusting over Lisa Welchel on The Facts Of Life I never imagined I would get the chance to see her in this position but that's exactly what happened on last nights episode of Survivor during a grueling reward challenge.  It's moments like these that makes Survivor the greatest show on television.
Before that we see a desperate Katie trying to recruit Denise in a plot to oust Jonathon, and we see Denise playing along.  Then over at Tandang we see the tribe bickering over weather or not to make breakfast.  It seems they are extremely low on rice because Skupin has been chowing down on it dry because he believes that the human body can double as a pressure cooker since it's temperature is close to 100 degrees.  What a great idea for a new fast food change.  Just throw raw food down people's throats and tell them it will cook inside their bodies.  That sure would cut down on operating costs.  I can't believe no one has thought of this before.  Maybe because it's completely insane, but that's Skupin for you.  Gotta love him, unless you're Pete and Artis who are dying to vote him out.
Flash forward to the reward challenge and Lisa Welchel mud wrestling.  It consists of both tribes trying to maneuver a huge ball in a field of mud into their goal.  Pretty much anything goes in preventing the other side from scoring which Skupin will later find out.  The winning tribe gets a feast of subways, sodas and brownies at a dry hut.    
The challenge goes to three points with different groups of three playing in each round.  Probst finally makes the bigger tribe sit out a man (I don't know why Matsing never got this courtesy).  RC and Artis sit out for Tandang.
The first groups are Lisa, Pete, and Skupin against Jonathon, Carter, and Denise.  The groups are so evenly matched the ball never comes close to either goal.  Lisa wrestles with Denise.  Pete takes Carter and even with Jonathon thrusting his arm under Skupin's crotch neither side can get an advantage. Good ole Probst chimes in with a great observation "It's a very intimate way to play but fully legal".  It's sound bites like these that is why I say Jeff Probst is the Shakespear (or Edward Devere) of reality shows.
After an hour of being stuck in the mud Jonathon proposes they make a deal.  Skupin says they'll give them the victory if they can have all of their rice.  In one of the riskiest moves since Ozzy volunteered to go to redemption island, Jonathon is ready to jump at the deal because he's sure he can catch fish.  Why he hasn't been doing that for the last two weeks is a mystery though.  A lot of players on both sides are nervous about the deal.  Artis in particular doesn't like it, especially after Jeff Kent calls him "birthday boy", but eventually everyone agrees.  So for the first time in Survivor history and reward gets obtained without winning the challenge.
I don't know if I would of agreed to this but overall I think this wasn't a bad move by Penner.  By doing this he provides the tribe with a feast and he makes himself more valuable as their main source of food now.  Even if he can't catch any fish he probably knows that a merge is right around the corner so I'm sure he's hoping he'll have access to that rice he gave up before too long.  There's no telling who would have won this challenge.  Even with Jeff Kent waiting in the wings for the next round of play, Tandang has Malcolm also waiting.  With Jeff's bad knee the advantage would have probably gone to Tandang, even with Abi going against Katie.  Both of those girls are pretty weak but I think Abi might be a little stronger then Katie.  After all she's had a lot more rest then everyone else.
Despite Artis' and Abi's whining back at camp I don't think it was a bad decision by Skupin either.  They needed rice badly.  Not to mention, they went to that challenge on a empty stomach because they were so low on rice.  That would of made it very difficult for THEM to win.
Kalabaw on the other hand are thrilled with the decision while they're chowing down on the sandwiches, especially when they realize there's a bonus to the reward when Jonathon discovers letters from home for everyone.  However, when Jonathon has a hard time catching fish that excitement quickly subsides.  Before the immunity challenge he only manages to catch two guppies that probably would have been better used for bait.  Even when there's a stingray inches from the shore he comes up empty.  This is surprising since Jonathon caught a boatload of fish in cook islands.  Obviously fishing conditions are much more optimal in that part of the world.  I'll bet he's really missing Ozzy at this point.
At the immunity challenge Tandang is once again forced to sit out a man.  If I were Malcolm I would probably be bitching up a storm about this, but instead he plays rock paper scissors with Mike to see who gets to participates.  Malcolm wins with scissors.  Maybe it's a good thing since Skupin has managed to go an entire episode without seriously injure himself and there's no point in tempting fate.  Abi also sits out which incites Probst to once again badger her for her lack of participation. 
The challenge is a Survivor classic with tribe members trying to catch a ball with a net that is slingshot by two opposing members.  Well it would appear Kalabaw is certain to win this one with former MVP Jeff Kent on their side.  Right?  Well he does score 3 points and puts them one point away from winning with a 2 point lead but then Skupin advises Lisa to aim her ball for Malcolm.  With dimwitted half starved Carter guarding Malcolm he easily ties it up.  Jeff replaces Carter to guard Malcolm but just like the reward challenge from last week Malcolm prevails over the former professional baseball player.  This shocks me.  You have a MVP baseball player in a challenge where the object is to catch balls and Kalabaw still can't win!  I suspect this challenge may have actually been designed by the producers to try to finally get Tandang to tribal council, but no such luck.  Blair Warner's team remains undefeated and Denise is on pace to set a record for most tribal councils in a single season.
At Kalabaw the scrambling begins.  Oddly enough Denise is safe as a kitten once again, as no one wants to vote her out.  Jeff and Carter consider turning on Jonathon, which is good news for Katie.  The plan is nearly exposed by Carter who ask Jonathon if he wants to vote out "Katie or Penner".  Hey Carter, "life is like a box of chocolates!"  How Jeff managed not to smack his forehead at this moment is beyond me.  It must of taken a mountain of self control on his part.  Incredibly this doesn't appear to throw up any red flags to Jonathon who is completely oblivious to a possible blind side.  I guess that's why they call it a blind side.  When we see them discussing Jonathon's departure we also learn that the camp is suddenly booming with coconuts as we watch Jonathon chowing down on one.  So I guess they're not completely derived of food as most of the episode suggests. 
I initially loved the way Jeff was playing the game but now I'm starting to have my doubts.  He hurt the tribe last week by going after Dawson because he was afraid of being exposed by her.  This week he's still committed to keeping Denise around.  It might have made some sense last week but at this point even if she is able to pull Malcolm over to their side they're still outnumbered 6 to 5.  Of course there are plenty of splinters at Tandang but he has no way of knowing that.  It would make more sense for Denise to jump over to Tandang with Malcolm and pick off Jonathon's alliance of three.
Well Jonathon looks to be in big trouble which should be a clear sign that he's safe.  Still I have my doubts and wonder if he'll play the idol, especially after Carter's slip of the tongue.  He doesn't play the idol and Katie is voted out.  Another hottie bites the dust so now were down to one young hottie and a sexy cougar.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!
It looks like a Merge!  Who will side with who?  Who will win the first individual immunity?  With three idols still in play it should prove for a very interesting tribal council!  I think a great twist would be to bring back redemption island but I doubt that will happen.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Survivor 25 Episode 5 Recap: From Zero to Hero!

In this episode the beginning recap details the entire destruction of Matsing.  So thankfully we're treated to a few more bikini shots of lovely Angie.  Matsing is now down to just two members, Denise and Malcolm.  As they contemplate their uncertain future in the game they come to the conclusion that they must find the idol.  Although Russell found the clue in the first episode and couldn't find it in three more episodes Malcolm is able to find it before the second commercial break.  However, the ease at which he found it did seem a tad suspicious.  Maybe the cameraman just wasn't on there toes and weren't able to properly capture the moment, but it seems like the cameraman was pointing at the idol before Malcolm thought to look there, like they were giving him some extra help.  Regardless, Malcolm's spirits are even higher then when he had Angie as a snuggle buddy.
They get tree mail and head off to their next challenge.  So early in the episode?  Could it be?  That we're FINALLY going to get an episode with two challenges?  The answer is an ecstatic YES!  But before we get to the challenge we have some business to tend to.  Probst announces that Matsing has been knocked around enough by the other tribes and will be absorbed by the two intact tribes.
I for one, was really hoping they would do like Palau and keep it going until Matsing was down to one member.  Never before on survivor have we seen three teams of two competing against each other pre merge.  They could of at least done like they did in All Stars by completing the challenge first and then have the losing tribe absorbed by the two winning tribes.  If Matsing had somehow managed to not come in last place that would of been very interesting.  They would of gained three tribe members but would still be outnumbered by four people.  I'm sure whoever would of got stuck on Matising would of thrown a shit fit.  Imagine going from being even with one tribe and outnumbering one tribe 3 to 1 to being on a tribe that's down by three players.  Of course if Matsing were smart they probably would of lost on purpose in that scenario.
As it turns out Denise and Malcolm are split up.  Unlike the returnees their tribal placement is left to fate as they are told to draw covered buffs. Malcolm ends up joining Tandang and Denise joins Kalabaw.  Now on to the REWARD challenge!  Tribe members are given a handled flat surface to hold an mini idol on.  The first person to have their idol touch the ground (not necessarily knocked off) loses.  The winning tribe gets a huge tray of pastries and coffee.  It starts off with Malcolm and Jeff.  I'm a little worried for Jeff who seems to be in some pain because of his knee but he manages to prevail over Malcolm this round to give Kalabaw an early lead.  It goes back and forth as most of the winners use Jeff Kent's strategy, of throwing your idol in the air then quickly push your opponents idol downward before yours hits the ground.  Kalabaw also has a great height advantage with the extra testosterone on their tribe.  Because of this difference in sexes Dana has to face off against Artis, even though she's supposedly used to that back in podunk county it's not even close.  Well so much for underestimating women.
For many of the women this is their first challenge in quite some time.  In Abi's case it's her first since episode one.  She ends up facing off against Dawson who gets confused and thinks you're supposed to go after the other person's hair instead of their idol.  So when Abi gets too close Dawson yanks on Abi's hair, but Abi wins by remembering you're supposed to knock the other person's idol down, not yank their hair.  Abi complains quite a bit about Dawson's tactics but something tells me this isn't the first time she's had her hair pulled.
When it's time for a rematch between Malcolm and Jeff, Tandang is one point away from victory.  Malcolm uses Jeff's own strategy against him by throwing his idol in the air and knocking Jeff's idol to the ground.  Not only does he finally get a taste of victory on Survivor he is also the tribe's hero.  Malcolm suddenly goes from zero to hero just like that.  He's on a winning tribe and has an idol which now puts him in a very powerful position.  It's twists like these that make Survivor such a great show.
Despite Malcolm's heroics one might think he still has some tap dancing to do but back at camp everyone is trying to get him on their side.  Pete even lets him know he and Abi have the idol, although Malcolm wisely doesn't reciprocate the gesture.  RC on the other hand is using her, ahem, assets to sway Malcolm to her side.  I think the editor's must be in artsy mood this week because for no particular reason we're treated to many scenes of RC throwing herself against crashing waves as she explains her dire predicament.     
At Kalabaw the men seem to be in trouble, as they are now outnumbered by the women with the addition of Denise.  It looks like if they lose, Jonathon is going to have to play his idol, but there's still the unanswered question of who will be pulled from the game.  This becomes immediately obvious the moment Dana starts complaining about her immune system.  Her condition quickly worsens and she become incapacitated.  Penner is surprisingly comforting to Dana showing much concern.  Of course as Probst will later point out, Jonathon has been through what she's experiencing which might explain his uncharacteristic sympathy.
When Probst arrives he has Dana examined by medical.  They determine that her condition is not life threatening and gives her another 12 hours to see if her condition stabilizes.  However Dana is in so much pain she elects to leave the game.  This would probably be my biggest fear if I were to ever play Survivor.  I know I can deal with the isolation and not eating but I tend to catch colds pretty easily.  Often it is a horrible ordeal that lasts for at least two weeks.  I'd like to think I'd be able to tough out.  I don't think I would ever quit, no matter how much pain I was in, but I can imagine my condition escalating to the point where I'm not allowed to stay in the game.  So Dana leaves which is bad news for Kalabaw but good news for the guys who are once again even with the woman and still have the advantage of the immunity idol.
We head to the immunity challenge which is once again part physical and part puzzle.  Also once again, Abi sits out, which really annoys Probst.  The testosterone enriched Tandang jumps out to an early lead.  There's one phase where they have to chop some wood with an axe to release some puzzle pieces.  Malcolm flies through this for Tandang but shockingly Jeff has trouble and must be relieved by Penner.  It's another nail biter but Tandang continues to dominate in challenges.  Could Lisa Whelchel be part of the first tribe to never lose immunity since Palau's Koror?  Of course unlike Koror they haven't always come in first.
So Kalabaw quickly goes from being undefeated to being down two members.  The question now is, who will be the second to go?  Although the tribe was once united in ousting Penner he appears to be completely safe and one of the remaining three women seem destined to go.  Will it be new tribe member Denise or will it be the weaker Katie or Dawson?  This is another great aspect of Survivor that I love.  Denise will be stronger in challenges but with the merger right around the corner do they want to keep someone who has an ally on the other tribe?  It seems to be a damned if you do damned if you don't.  However, it doesn't seem to be much of an issue for the men as Jeff quickly offers Denise a deal.  I would of thought long and hard about this but ultimately I think it was probably the correct move.  Yes, there's a strong possibility that Malcolm could get Denise to flop after the merge, but the possibility is just as strong that Denise could get Malcolm to flop, which may be Kalabaw's only hope.
Now it's between Katie and the clueless Dawson.  Boy did I really blow it when I picked her to win it all in my first recap.  I did warn you that I don't have a good track record of picking winners.  At least Dawson still has her card of Jeff's secret identity.  Unfortunately the way she goes about using it is entirely wrong.  This is what she should of done.  When Penner ordered her to get wood she should of strongly suggested Jeff help her.  If he would of hesitated at all she should of said something like "you know Jeff it just occurred to me that I never told you my LAST NAME."  I'm sure Jeff would of gotten the hint and then when she got him alone she should of told him that if she gets voted off she's spilling the beans about who he is.  Instead she just dances around it by saying things like how she would like to date an athlete and how football is bigger then baseball.  Not smart.  This makes Jeff's nervous but that only encourages him to want to vote her out more.
At tribal council Dawson is completely blindsided.  Even Katie votes for her.  She's even more shocked then Kat was as she gets up to have her torch snuffed.  Once this happens a borderline crazy look appears on her face and I'm anxiously waiting for her to drop the dime on Jeff.  Instead she slowly approaches the other Jeff, kisses him on the cheek and tenderly hugs him goodbye.  During this we are treated to a variation of the original Survivor theme music and it turns out to be a very sweet and emotional moment.  Unfortunately I'm pretty sure the Survivor's theme song return at the elimination scene is only temporary.  They used to play this music at the end of every show as well as the end of each challenge.  A few years ago they replaced it with more dramatic musical scores and I have always been a strong opponent of this move.  The Survivor theme is such a great piece of music and I miss hearing it more throughout the show.  If I were a rock star I would have them play the Survivor theme song at the beginning of every concert.  I remember during the very first finale they actually played it DURING the final immunity challenge.  That was the highest rated episode of Survivor of all time.  So please guys bring back the old theme song and I guarantee you ratings will go up.  Anyway, Dawson leaves, and at her confessional she lists all the things she wants Jeff Kent to buy her.  She makes me feel even stupider for picking her to win by including a pink gun.  Goodbye Dawson, it's been a pleasure.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!
One of my biggest dreams in life will become complete when we get to see Blair Warner wrestling in the mud!  The women are in big trouble and Artis seems to want to take Barry Bonds place as Jeff Kent's good buddy!

UPDATE:
Upon listening to post game interviews with Dawson after last weeks episode it has come to my attention that she did in fact play her card against Jeff Kent.  Apparently she told him very early that she knew his secret and attempted several times to form an alliance with him, but he had no interest in working with her for some reason.  This surprises me but I still feel she did not use the information properly.  She should have been more threatening and told him if she got voted out she was spilling the beans about him.
There was a scene where Jeff speculates on weather Dawson knows his secret when he says "if Dawson knows my history of being a professional athlete it might be best to vote her out".  However, Jeff isn't actually on camera when this is said so I believe this was probably accomplished with creative editing of Jeff's speech.  Obviously Dawson was toying with Jeff even harder then it appeared when they were in the shelter and she was talking about sports.  At this time Jeff knows that Dawson knows her secret and she's trying to give him a subtle warning, which again, was not the way to go in my opinion.    
  
Watch the full episode here.
http://www.cbs.com/shows/survivor/video/fvTQD5MkjZWUPmI0iMQnMJfnaVJPUmHX/survivor-philippines-got-my-swag-back