Although it was very brief, this week Malcolm became only the third person in Survivor history to be in possession of two immunity idols. That's a pretty impressive accomplishment but unfortunately the rest of his performance this week was anything but. After getting his ass whipped by John at last week's immunity challenge he gets outmatched by John again in not one but two more challenges! He also implements some incredibly bizarre strategic moves that I'm pretty sure have destoyed his game. Apparently playing in back to back seasons is having a drastic effect on his game play. Malcolm is the first player since Russell Hantz to play back to back with less than a month break in between seasons. After watching Malcolm play so badly this season I'm starting to consider the possibility that Russell isn't as big of an idiot as he appeared to be in Heroes Vs Villains.
While it's true he did play pretty badly in Samoa his game play in HVV was one of the worst in Survivor history. This is a man who went to the end against two former winners and couldn't get a single vote, but maybe I've been too hard on Russell and his horrible game play had a lot to do with the stress of playing so soon after his first season. This could very well of contributed to his early exit on Redemption Island as well.
Well back to Caramoan. The episode starts off with Phillip announcing it's Michael Jordan day (23) and an awkward closeup of Andrea's kiester. Then we see Reynold talking about how proud he is of one his alliance members getting voted out last week. He seems to be joining the large group of cast members this season that need a serious reality check. After realizing that every girl that hitches her wagon to himself and Eddie gets voted out he attempts to use this to his favor and targets Andrea. He then comes right out and asks Andrea what her strategy is. Does anybody actually expect to get a strait answer to this question on Survivor? It's about as ludicrous as Joe Girardi walking over to the Red Sox dug out and asking them how they plan to pitch his batters during the playoffs.
Phillip, who suddenly needs to wear glasses, is solidifying his relationship with Sherry. As I predicted last week she gets a SRU code name, which is "Tenacity". Phillip is even more arrogant than ever but I have to say I'm still enjoying him this season. Sherry calls him her Shamar over here, who oddly enough she called her Phillip.
At the reward challenge the tribe is split into two groups of five. Since there are eleven tribe members "Tenacity" is left out of the challenge. They don't even let her pick a side to root for. As I said last season I really don't like it when they do this and I think that all challenges after the merge should be individual like there were in the early years of Survivor.
The challenge has one person from each team perched in the middle of the water and must defend a goal from members of the other team who jump off a platform in front of the perch. Team Orange is made up of Malcolm, Phillip, Dawn, Brenda and Andrea. Malcolm defends for Orange and Michael defends for Purple. As usual Brenda is super excited and shakes her cute little booty in anticipation of the match.
The first thrower is Eddie who evidently is confused and thinks the object is to hit the defender as he propels his ball directly at Malcolm. Brenda scores the first goal of the match but then John of all people ties it up and then seemingly becomes possessed by an oragatang.
Later it becomes tied up 3 3 and Brenda has a chance to score the winning goal but comes up just short as the ball bounces off the goal. Then it becomes Erik's chance to be the hero. Phillip tries to distract him by saying "I don't know why you took your sneakers off." Then just as he begins his launch Phillip yells "MISTAKE"! But it doesn't work and Michael finally gets to go on a reward. The reward being a chance to propel down a waterfall down to a picnic lunch.
At the reward the fans try to sway John into forming an all male alliance. For some reason they don't attempt to include Erik. The old idiotic John finally shows his face as he boasts in a confessional about how stupid it was of them to use that tactic on himself who has no interests in partaking in any kind of "tom foolery with these numb skulls." John is too stupid to realize the fans were simply playing one of the few cards they had available. Maybe they should of told him not to vote them out because they all have birthdays coming up.
Meanwhile, Malcolm continues his nightmare episode by pulling a Julia and going to the person he tried to vote out last week to help him get back into the game. Sherry or "Tenacity" as she's now know in Stealth R Us plays along but we can see she's not ready to place her trust in Malcolm just yet. Then he goes to the biggest blabbermouth of the season, Dawn and tries to enlist her help. Even Dawn acknowledges the stupidity of trusting someone like her.
They tell Andrea who devises a plan to oust Malcolm by telling him they're going to target Reynold and Eddie but then blindside Malcolm. Andrea then goes flirting with Eddie who is only too happy to flirt back. However, both elude to the fact that they're playing each other. In my opinion it's probably a little of both.
The immunity challenge is the classic pressing your face into a grate as the tide rises. Phillip decides to "throw the challenge" and is first out. Erik Dawn Sherry and Malcolm soon follow. The last three guys fall out within 3 seconds of each other which leaves the two remaining girls Brenda and Andrea to fight it out. This gives Dawn a huge tickle! I guess she needs every little help she can get to avoid her inevitable meltdown!
Both the girls employ a very smart strategy of bracing themselves with their legs over the edge of the grate to get better leverage. The battle is pretty intense as tough farm girl Andrea gives Brenda a good run for her money, as she is the only one that drops below water and comes back up under the grate. I've always said Andrea in an underrated challenge competitor. In the end though, Brenda is victorious. Latinos rule! During the challenge it appeared as though she was coasting through it but when she comes up for air you can see by the look on her face that it wasn't nearly as easy for her as she made it look.
So now it's time to finally hear a confessional from Brenda this episode. Wait, what? All we get to hear her say is "thank you"??????????? WTF! She wins the fucking immunity challenge and we still don't get to hear any comments from her?! I can just imagine if they hadn't given John any air time after he won immunity last week. Knowing him he probably would of filed a lawsuit! I'm really getting tired of Brenda not getting equal time! She's one of the few players I was glad to see return this season.
Ok on to the pre tribal dance. The editors throw a lot of shit at us to try to confuse us as to the outcome. We see Malcolm contemplating on how this is his last chance to take control of the game. We see him plotting with Andrea to vote with the "favorites" then see him plotting with Dawn to take out Andrea who says she wants to see the idol. So Reynold shows it to her. Then we see Phillip plotting to take out "Reynolds". I don't know what happened to taking out Malcolm. Then we see Eddie and Andrea talking a whole bunch of panicked gibberish, and Eddie spills the beans that she's a target which totally freaks her out and she decides to play it safe and vote for Michael which ticks off Dawn. So Andrea says she can switch it back. Which is where we are left at right before the hike to tribal.
I'm not sure why Andrea was so panicked since even with Malcolm the fans don't have the votes to take her out. Unless she was thinking they also had Sherry, but even then, all she has to do is have the favs not split the votes. They still could of taken out Malcolm. I don't get why they changed from him to Michael.
At tribal Phillip gives a big speech on loyalty and taking out anyone who shows any sign of disloyalty. We know that Malcolm for some reason votes against the fans who all vote for Andrea, and votes for Reynold. After the vote Reynold gets up to use his idol at which point Malcolm pulls one the shadiest moves by any player in Survivor history who's initials aren't RH! He tells Reynold that everybody voted for him and to give him the idol. Reynold gives him a suspicious look but Malcolm assures him that he's being dead serious and Reynold actually gives him the idol!
When Brenda throws her face into her palms I think maybe Malcolm just made a brilliant move but he doesn't get one vote and Michael ends up going home. So after that I'm thinking Malcolm is pretty much fucked. I'm guessing he was trying to ensure getting Reynold voted out for some reason. Obviously there was a lot we didn't see. Did the rest of the favs tell Malcolm they were voting for Michael and he just didn't believe them? He must of thought they were voting for Reynold. So that tells me the favs are probably sick of Malcolm.
In any event Malcolm is in some hot water now. That was such a low move he pulled on Reynold and I'm pretty sure Reynold's going to know that Malcolm voted for him and totally tried to play him since Andrea only got 3 votes, he got one and the rest went to Michael. What's he gonna say? That Michael voted for Reynold? And what's he going to say to Reynold if he ever uses his idol? I'm sure Malcolm will try to squirm his way back into the favs but I don't see that happening. Even if by some miracle Malcolm makes it to the end now I don't see him being able to win. He's burned to many bridges in this weeks episode.
As far as Eddie and Reynold, once again they manage to dodge some bullets.
NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! Dawn pulls a Brandon and begins her journey in the abyss of total madness. Like Brandon, it's not a short trip. And Eddie and Malcolm have some big explaining to do to Andrea and Reynold.
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