THE KING OF SURVIVOR

We all saw this coming but for a while, it looked like it might now happen.  Against all odds Natalie went from being the first voted out to making it all the way to the final 3 and actually placing second in an epic season.  It’s too bad.  How awesome would have been for a player who won her season after her twin sister was the first voted out and then end up an all winners season after being voted out first?  Unfortunately she came up a little bit short.  I’m disappointed and would have preferred to see Michele win instead of Tony but I will say out of the (second) final 6 this was my top choice for a final 3.  I damn sure didn’t want to see Ben, Denise or Sarah win again.  So congrats to the entire final 3.  Natalie did an amazing job on Edge and post Edge.  Michele played a fantastic game and hopefully silenced all the morons who said she didn’t deserve to win her season.  During her first season I was surprised she won but not because I didn’t want her to but because she had the least winner like edit in Survivor history.  I hate Tai and Aubrey and was happy to see her beat them.  Out of all the players this season she’s the only one who’s never had her torch snuffed so I don’t think there’s anyone who can ever again say she’s not a great player. 

In contrast to Michele’s season, this season had one of the most obvious winner edits of all time.  I hated Tony the first time he played but he seems to have changed since winning the million dollars and isn’t nearly the slime ball he was pre-Cagayan. So good for Tony.  He played a good game but he did have a bit of luck along the way.  I think Danni really fucked things enough for the old schoolers and this season could have been so much better if she could have just held it together a little longer.  

Also, let’s go back to Sandra vote out.  If Sandra doesn’t make one of the dumbest moves in Survivor history Tony has a more that 50% chance of getting voted out that episode.  Everyone had and advantage to keep them safe that vote except for Tony.  If Sandra hadn’t been so stupid she would have used her idol for herself, Denise was obviously playing hers no matter what and if those two use their idols there’s a good chance that Kim uses hers.  That just leaves Jeremy and Tony, assuming Jeremy doesn’t use his advantage to leave before the vote.  So there’s another reason for me to be even more frustrated with Sandra.

And what about Ben?  I’m glad he did what he did because I really wanted Michele in the final 3 over him but he’s an idiot and I think congratulations are in order for Tyson for no longer being the dumbest winner of all time.

Overall, I loved the finale up until the moment Tony won but it could have been a lot worse.  All hail the king of Survivor who owes a lot to the former queen for being so stupid. 

Survivor 40: THE QUEEN IS DEAD!

Well, it looks like I was right on the money last week when I reported how surprised I was that Sandra actually went to Edge of Extinction, given how minuscule here chances were of winning her way back into the game. While she did make the trip to Edge she only lasted about 2 hours before coming to her senses and heading directly to Ponderosa.  Survivor recapper Dalton Ross reported how (at first) he was surprised how quickly Sandra gave up but I was surprised how slowly it took her to realize her game was over and it made zero sense for her to suffer on Edge just for a little bit more of screen time.  A lot of people are calling her a quitter but Sandra doesn’t care about things like screen time or the adventure of the game.  She’s always been all about business and she didn’t quit.  As I previously stated, her game was over the moment her torch was snuffed if not the instant she stupidly handed her idol to Denise.  To say she quit, implies she had even a small chance of winning the game.  Technically she did have a chance of getting back into the game but the chances of that were so minuscule it didn’t make a lick of sense for her to even try. 

So now the Queen is truly dead.  She says she is still the Queen but then claims she’s “only human”.  She also said she did the best that she could with what she had.  This also is completely false and just a feeble attempt to save face.  She did not do the best she could with what she had.  SHE HAD A FUCKING IDOL!  She was guaranteed more time in the game.  Then she inexplicably pissed it away. 

People everywhere are saying what a great move this was by Denise by a beg to differ.  It was just a monumental bonehead move by the self-proclaimed queen of Survivor.  Let me put this into perspective for you.  What Sandra did was like if a rich guy who had a gun, no money and was wearing a $30,000 Rolex and decides to leave the safety of his swanky hotel to take a walk to Compton.  Then when he gets there, he tells the first guy he comes across he’ll let the guy hold his gun if the guy will lend him cab fare to get back to his hotel.  Then when the guy gets the gun he robs the guy of his Rolex and takes off with the gun.  If that happened in real life would you be praising the guy who took the Rolex for making such an ingenious move?  Of course, not!  You’d be saying what an idiot the guy with the Rolex was! This is basically what Sandra did.  Her being the guy with the Rolex. 

What makes this even more frustrating is I watched a secret scene video that showed Sandra on the morning of day 16 expressing how grateful she was to make it to the same day she got voted out last time she played and also being extremely worried that she would get voted out again on day 16. 

You can watch the video here 

How she could then give her idol to Denise after admitting to much fear of getting blindsided again makes what she did even more mind boggling.  It also makes her tempting fate even more idiotic.  After watching this video, I now have to say that this move was AT LEAST as dumb as Erik giving up immunity.  I don’t think Sandra should be ashamed of quitting, but she should be very ashamed of letting down all her fans by making a move as dumb as an amateur who was playing against all-stars.  As someone one who has looked up Sandra and been declaring the greatest of all time for 10 years now I feel completely betrayed.  At least my boy Rob kicked some ass on Edge this week by acquiring 3 fire tokens, which was a lot of fun to watch.  For those of you wondering, even though there was no clue of it in the previews, in a post episode interview, Probst announced someone from Edge will return to the game next week.  Will it be Rob?  One can only hope!

SURVIVOR SEASON 20 PLAYERS NO MORE!

Winners at War has not been very fun so far.  I’ve been looking forward to an all winners season for years now because I knew it was the only way we would ever see Boston Rob play again but my favorite players are playing really stupidly.  Two of those players are veterans of season 20 and one thing I have not seen anyone else comment on is how the last four players voted off were not only all season 20 players but were voted off in the same order that they all finished that season!  

Season 20 was the historic 10^th anniversary all-star Heroes Versus Villains season that was one of the best and toughest seasons ever.  Here we are, 10 years later, finally getting an even more historic all winners season that includes 4 players from season 20 and they have all gotten voted off before the merge in one block!

So, how did these three super all-stars… and Tyson, get voted off so quickly?  First off Tyson.  Well, the short answer is, he’s an idiot.  The more complicated answer is that Tyson can’t win because he doesn’t want to win.  Unless he’s pissed off because his girlfriend got voted off, Tyson just wants to have fun annoying people as much as possible.  So, unless Tyson is messing around with his best friend’s wife (which I would not put past Tyson for a second but would put it past Amber) there’s little chance of him getting motivated enough to win this season.  However, given the fact that he is a big guy who is in much better shape than Rob and now that he has that big jar of peanut butter fueling him, I would not be shocked if he won the first challenge to get back into the game.  Although, despite what he says, I don’t really believe getting back into the game was his primary motivation for pissing away his one fire token to buy the peanut butter.  I think he was just really hungry and rationalized buying it to help him get back in the game.

Next, is my favorite player of all time, Boston Rob. Unfortunately, this is not the same Boston Rob who first played 18 years ago and last played 9 years ago.  Not to say he isn’t still a force to be reckoned with but as I said previously, he is clearly out of shape and he’s not the challenge beast he once was.  I also have not been too impressed with his strategic choices.  First off going back to season 20, I think having a friendship with an obnoxious idiot like Tyson shows a severe lack of judgement on Rob’s part.  Also, aligning with Parvati, the black widow man killer of Survivor is very questionable.  Then refusing to even entertain the suggestion of Adam to turn on Parvati and immediately going after Adam instead of trying to work some angle to get Adam to join him and Parvati was a bad move.  Him failing to understand the importance and power of hidden immunity idols and being unable to figure out advantage clues on Edge.  This is especially confusing since he did actually find an idol on Redemption Island and he said he learned something since last time.  Unfortunately, he seems to have forgotten this important lesson.  I can’t believe how many players have been so lazy about not looking for an idol this season but especially Rob.  Rob should have pulled a Ben and gone out looking for the idol the first night and not stopped until he found it.

He did certainly have his moments, like bullying Ben into revealing information, the amazing comeback in the episode 4 immunity challenge and you could see him using his magic to win over Michele.  It may have gone unnoticed to most, but she was incredibly pissed to see him voted out.  I also think he was also the only one to score a point for his tribe in the first challenge, in which the current gave the other tribe a huge advantage that made it almost impossible for Rob’s tribe to score.  So, he still is decent in challenges, which is what I thought would probably save him when the tribe swap happened. 

I knew it was not good for him to be on a tribe with Adam and Ben, and while I knew Sophie probably had zero interest in working Rob since he has a lot in common with Ozzy, who she was desperate to get out in their season together.  She correctly realized she would not stand a chance in hell against him in the final tribal council.  However, next to Yul, Sophie is probably the most intelligent player this season.  In everyday life that is, not necessarily on Survivor, but for that reason I believed that a puzzle solving combo of Rob and Sophie would be impossible to beat in challenges.  Then to my shock, on the very next challenge Rob does not join Sophie to solve the challenge ending puzzle!  Perhaps he strategized that it would be more advantageous to guide them by standing back and observing the process of them (and the other tribes) during the challenge. 

This did not work but I suspect Adam and Sophie may have actually thrown that challenge to get rid of Rob.  As stated previously, Sophie is very intelligent and won her season by kicking Ozzy’s ass in a puzzle that he had a lead on for the final immunity challenge.  Let me say that again.  SHE KICKED OZZY’S ASS!  Then there’s her puzzle partner Adam.  Mister “my third grade teacher said I can accomplish anything I set my mind to”.  Considering all this you would think they would have been able to easily at least win second place to stay safe, especially since they were the first tribe to start working on the puzzle.  I’m not saying they definitely threw it, I’m just saying it’s a little suspicious. 

Next is Parvati.  I’ve never like Parvati and think she’s enormously overrated.  I don’t respect Parvati because a big part of her strategy is to not help around camp, lay on her ass all day long resting for individual challenges and winning immunity to keep herself safe.  I also don’t think she is nearly as cute as she (and apparently Nick) thinks she is.  For some reason though, she is perceived by many as being a huge threat and because of that, was climbing an uphill battle from the start of the game.  The same was true for her last season.  I think her early departure this season proves her getting to the end in Heroes Vs. Villains was due to in large part because of luck and also playing with an idiot like Tyson who screwed over his entire alliance by voting himself out and allowing Parvati and Russell to take control of the game.

So, in her first trip to tribal after swapping tribes where she is outnumbered by a super tight boys club, she is an obvious target to be sent to Edge.  Many will say Parvati had no chance of surviving this but I beg to differ.  Now, she couldn’t save herself with an idol since Denise already has it but what about the deal Wendel proposed not only at camp but also during tribal!  I read that Jeff Probst was shocked she didn’t take the deal during tribal but I actually was not so shocked because there was the possibility that mister Nick “my high school crush was Parvati” Wilson, would have voted with her and Michele.  I also have no doubt that Wendel would have never lived up to the deal and was merely trying to swindle her out of some tokens.  However, what she should have done was ask Wendel to ask Jeff to make the deal binding so he would have to live up to the deal and vote the way she asked him to.  I’m pretty sure he would have never taken that deal but you never know.  To be fair it took me a while to consider this possibility and probably would not have thought of it while I was on the spot in the middle of tribal council  As it turns out, Nick decided to follow the old “bros before hoes” alliance and helped send Parvati packing.  Even though I don’t like Parvati, I was kind of hoping they would pull a blindside on Wendel’s smug ass.  Still, it was quite satisfying to see this leader of the most vicious female alliance in Survivor history get sent home by a tight boys’ alliance.  Karma’s a bitch little miss black widow alliance leader. 

Lastly, there was SANDRA! Sandra, who completely embarrassed me for making a fan video proclaiming her to be the greatest player of all time with the insanely stupid stunt she pulled this week.  Sandra, who was super safe, had the numbers, had an idol that could only be used at one more tribal and little miss “as long as it’s not me, I don’t care” suddenly decides to go against her core philosophy that helped her win twice to try to get somebody else out that wasn’t the target because she didn’t like him.  Sandra is supposed to be a student of the game so she should know that historically whenever someone pulls something like this, it ends their game.  I’m talking to you Shianne!

She says it was because she knew her days with Tony were numbered.  That may very well be true, but Sandra could have said that about any player in the game this season.  No one wants to go to the end with her because they all know she will kick their ass.  I think it was more of a case of Sandra not liking the way Tony played his first season and just disliked him so much she could not bare being around him another second, which I can totally relate to.  I really hate Tony, the way he played his first season was despicable, but I think Tony genuinely wanted to work with Sandra and had no immediate plans to take her out.  I also think winning a million dollars has somehow improved his character and I have found him to be much more likable during his last two seasons.  From what I saw, Tony was constantly trying to reach out to Sandra and she was constantly pushing him away. It was the same way their first season too and I don’t know why Sandra could not see this.  Of course, there is also the fact that Tony is a cop, and cops don’t have the greatest relationship with the Latino community.  To be fair, I have to say I am also a Latino who holds grudges and once someone pisses me off, I rarely give them another chance, but this is game for TWO MILLION DOLLARS!  For that kind of money I would think Sandra could put aside her differences with Tony and be more open to working for him, even though she has already won two million from this game.

Unfortunately this isn’t happening, so, Sandra who is so desperate to get rid of Tony, goes to Denise, who everyone has agreed to vote out and gives her, her idol that she bought for one token in exchange for…. One token (and the promise to get another after they return from tribal).  Sandra says she needs tokens, even though she doesn’t know what for but what could tokens POSSIBLY buy her that is more valuable than immunity????  What did she think, they were going to change the rules so whoever gets the most tokens wins the game????  Even if she did think tokens could actually buy her something better than immunity THEN WHY THE FUCK DID SHE USE ONE TO BUY THE IDOL IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!! The whole thing makes zero sense!

It was so frustrating to watch.  How Sandra could take such a risk just blows my mind.  She went from being the greatest player of all time to one of the stupidest.  This was far stupider than James going home with two idols.  Stupider than even Tyson voting himself out in season 20.  The only stupid move that MIGHT be worse, is Erik giving immunity to Natalie at tribal and even this one is really close.  They both should have known how badly everyone wanted to get them out of the game but at least Erik didn’t pay for is idol and then essentially sell it for the same amount! 

I was watching some youtubers who recap every episode and they were saying how they didn’t know Denise would turn on Sandra.  This was surprising to hear because when I was watching this go down my jaw literally dropped, and I was screaming at the screen because the instant Sandra handed Denise her idol I was certain Sandra was going to Edge.  I would have been shocked if Denise didn’t vote out Sandra.  Especially after she tells Sandra she’ll give her another token when they get back to camp (RED FLAG!!!).  I mean that just gives Denise more incentive to not want Sandra to come back to camp.  At the very least, Sandra should have haggled more and told Denise if she wanted to wait to pay her half the tokens that she would have to let Sandra hold on to the idol and allow her to play it on Denise’s behalf before the votes are read.  This may have significantly lowered the chances of Denise actually voting for Sandra.  Maybe Denise would have rejected the offer but is she did, that should have been another red flag to Sandra.  Alas, Sandra makes a bonehead move and allows her greed and hatred for Tony to send her packing ON THE SAME DAY SHE WAS VOTED OUT LAST TIME!  As one of Sandra’s former biggest fans, I have to say I really I hope they tore down that statue of her the next day.

One last shocker is Sandra actually chooses to go to Extinction!  Sandra has NEVER won an individual challenge, she sits out nearly every team challenge when they have extra players because of her physical weakness.  Does she actually think she has a snowballs chance in hell of winning her way back into the game????  In a reply to a YouTube video showing Amber talking about the possibility of returning to the game, I left a reply that her chances were probably 1 in 10,000 (even though I love Amber).  With Sandra I would say it’s probably closer to 1 in 10 million.  If I were her, I would not even subject myself to the ordeal of Edge of Extinction.  Just go to ponderosa and have a burger because barring every other player getting hit by a bolt of lightning during the challenge to return to the game, her game is over.

So, now Sandra and every other season 20 player is on Edge of Extinction.  They currently make up half the players on Edge so there is a good chance it’s not completely over for season 20 players.  However, I think Natalie is probably the favorite to win the first challenge.  While I dearly hope Rob wins, I’m not betting the bank on it.  There’s also the fact that Entertainment Weekly’s Survivor recapper Dalton Ross held a panel discussion with several players from this season at the beginning of this season and every member of the panel except for Wendel is currently on Edge.  Natalie, Tyson and Danny were not members of the panel.  This tells me that one of them are probably more likely to return to the game.  I hope I’m wrong but I have a sickening feeling we are done seeing Rob playing real Survivor.

One of Survivor's biggest mysteries FINALLY revealed... Sort of...

Ever since Survivor began allowing three finalist to become eligible for the grand prize way back in season 13, one question has been weighing heavily on the minds of survivor fans everywhere. That being, what happens in the case of tie?  This is not possible with a final two and an odd numbered jury, but with a final three it is a very real possibility weather the jury is odd or even numbered.  I have often wondered how they would solve this dilemma and even Jenna Morasca pondered it during the first final three season when she was co-hosting Survivor Live.  This week during the reunion one of the most shocking survivor moments happened when Jeff Probst finally revealed the official rule, which is, the person who is not in the tie will go to the jury and cast the tie breaking vote.

As I said, I have put a lot of thought into possible solutions and I actually considered this possibility, but after careful consideration I dismissed this possibility because of one huge flaw, which still leaves a big question about this procedure.  The flaw and question is WHEN would the new jury member cast his vote?  You see the problem?  Jeff does not read the votes for months after they are cast and after the entire season has aired.  Would it be fair to allow a jury member to vote months later at the reunion after seeing so much more information from watching the show on television, that other jury members were not afforded? 

I do know perfectly well that the votes are not actually sealed after the final tribal without Jeff and the rest of producers tallying them, but still… what exactly would the procedure be in revealing the tie and sending the finalist to the jury?  Would they break a long standing tradition and tell everyone we have decided to read the votes right now, or would they just tell everyone it’s a tie and we need to do a tie breaker without even reading the votes?  Jeff did not clarify this during the reunion.  However they do it, a tie will still really screw things up.  Unless they allow the tie breaker to happen live, which I believe would be really unfair, we would lose so much anticipation and tension that comes from the reading of the votes, which is a huge part of Survivor's appeal.  So. I’m actually still very curious to see this happen, and discover just exactly how they will handle it.

Survivor Cagayan 2: THE REMATCH!

Survivor Cagayan was one of the best season's ever.  With so many interesting players, it begs the question, which ones should come back to play again?  Well, I say there were so many great players from that season they should all be brought back in the same season, with the exception of Lindsey.  Quitters don't deserve to come back.  As the title of this article suggests it could be called Cagayan 2: The Rematch!

However I don't think they should be divided into the same three tribes, which would be pretty much impossible anyway without Lindsey there.  I say they should start off with 2 tribes with Tony and Woo being the captains of each tribe and allowing them to choose their own tribes alternating in their picks with Tony getting first choice since he came in first.  Also alternating between guys and girls.

Of course without Lindsey they would start off with an uneven number so what to do about that?  Bring someone else in from a past season? No! Bring one of the loved ones in from the final episode? No!  I say start off with 17 players after Tony and Woo choose their 7 tribemates, exile the last person left over until the first immunity challenge.  They did something like this in Figi with the odd man out replacing the first person voted off, but I didn't really like that.  I think the tribe that loses the first challenge should still be at a numbers disadvantage so I say the tribe who loses the first challenge in Rematch should have to vote out 2 people and then whoever was exiled would join that tribe giving it 7 tribe members to the other tribes 8.

A lot of people probably think the Kass would be the odd man out but I don't think so.  I think if Tony were smart she would probably be his first choice.  Tony would naturally have a HUGE target on his back and Kass would be one of the few people who could take the heat off of Tony.  It would still be highly unlikely for Tony to make it to the end but I think aligning with Kass would be his only shot.  I think Ja'tia would actually be the most likely candidate to not be picked.

So would anyone else like to see Spencer Tony Kass and Tash battle it out again?  Of course I would love to see Morgan back again.  View the video below for my tribute to Ms. Mcleod.

Survivor Cagayan Week 10: Always Bet On Black!

The question is.. am I referring to the rock or Tasha?  Before I answer that I want to first make a prediction.  Like it or not, Tony will be back to play this game again.  Why?  Three reasons.  He plays hard, he plays to win (I think), and he gives great sound bites.  Such as "get your ass out of the water and cook it".  I have never seen a player waist so much potential in all my 10+ years of watching Survivor.  At the beginning of the episode I was having a change of heart about him and starting to think he was gonna end up winning despite his LJ blunder, because everything just seems to be going his way.  Sometimes on Survivor there are players who don't win so much because they play great but because the stars just happened to aligned perfectly and everything just seems to fall into place for them.  The last two winners Tyson and Cochran are perfect examples of this.  Two of the dumbest players in the history of the game.  One of my fellow recappers gave Cochran a zero percent chance of winning at the beginning of Caramoan but look what happened.  Not only does he win he doesn't have a single vote cast against him the entire season and then wins by unanimous decision.  This however was not a Survivor first as JT managed to do the same thing but I think most people would of never believed the weasel who was too chicken to draw rocks would have a chance in hell of repeating that feat.

Of course Tony has no chance of accomplishing this since he has already had votes cast against him and after this episode I think he definitely has no chance at winning.  I did however, start off the episode really admiring the guy.  This happens because of the traditional Survivor auction.  Even though Tony has a rock solid alliance AND an idol that can be played after the votes are read, making him virtually invincible for the time being, he is still determined to not bid on any food at the auction so he can win the also traditional advantage.  Tony is a jerk and makes some boneheaded moves but you have to admire his dedication!  The only problem is he has some serious competition from outsiders Spencer and Tasha.


Now their situation may seem pretty bleak but the last three immunity challenges have been won by one of these two and there is undoubtedly a new idol in circulation after Spencer played his last week.  So if they  can find the idol and one of them wins immunity then it's a whole new ballgame.  I know Spencer blew a golden opportunity when he won immunity by not letting Tasha win and getting everyone to vote for him so he could play his idol but I don't think he would be that foolish again. 

So after Wacky Woo gives everyone their money that was previously shoved down his ass we get to the auction.  Typically we only have one or two people saving their money for the advantage or information but since this time we have three this time.  As Spencer puts it this results in a real buyers market, with very little competition to drive up the prices.  It's true that Tasha does bid against Jefra for an item, which seemed to really tick off Spencer, but I suspect she may have just been trying to get Jefra to spend more money.  As hungry and safe as Tony he is, he refuses to bid on anything.  This is just a testament to the depths of Tony's paranoia.

Finally it's time for the advantage, but of course Probst has to create a little drama and stir things up by putting the three people who still have all their money on the spot.  After they acknowledge what is obvious to everyone, Probst pulls out a small scroll and Tony immediately bids all his money, but Probst reveals that it's not that easy.  He informs them that if the bidding reaches the maximum amount anyone else with all their money can match the bid and then it will become a contest of drawing for the chance to win the advantage.  Spencer agrees to take the chance but Tasha elects to sit out.  As they were about to draw I was saying to myself it's going to be Tony because everything has been going his way and sure enough Tony draws the winning black rock while Spencer is left with nothing.  Not that it matters because Probst immediately announces the auction is over.  I'm not sure if I like this rule of drawing rocks after bidding all your money and I definitely don't like them saving it for the last item.  But maybe the only reason they didn't do this in the past is there is normally only one person with all their money after a few rounds of food battles.

Back at camp Tony has to narrate the action as is often his habit and lectures on the downside of winning the advantage.  Still having not read the scroll and assuming it's an advantage at the next immunity challenge.  He says the fact that he's starving and others are full may neutralize any advantage.  However I do not recall anyone ever buying an immunity advantage at an auction and not winning the next immunity.  Even Abi who was sat out of nearly every challenge because she is so weak won immunity when she had an advantage.  However, this particular advantage is not an immunity advantage but a clue to the new hidden immunity idol.

At first he can't find it and both Spencer and Tasha are working Tony good.  Spencer by planting seeds about Jefra and Tasha by staying close with the girls to plant fear of an all girls alliance.  Of course it works like a charm for the most paranoid player in the history of the game.   I really have to give Tasha credit she is such a better player than I ever suspected from the beginning of this season.  So she's in the water with the girls which pisses off Tony even more because he's taking care of the camp and meanwhile Trish thinks that Spencer is too skinny.  Okay skeleton lady.

Tony goes to search for the idol some more and this time he finds it at a tree that looks exactly like the tree he found the last idol at.  So now, Tony is officially the most powerful player in Survivor history.  More powerful the Yul, more powerful than Terry, more powerful than James.  This fool now has two idols one of which can be used AFTER the votes are read!  There's no way he's going home with two idols in his bag like James did.  He is so ecstatic he now believes he has the power to take away a persons vision since he says he can give it to someone else to help them "blind" someone.  Tony than proceeds to show everyone in his alliance his new idol even though he is still keeping the other one a secret.  He says he is doing it to build trust and tells them it's another community idol but what he's really trying to do is scare the shit out of them which I think is one of his better moves.

At the immunity challenge Woo gives Tasha a run for her money but for the third strait time she wins immunity.  Immediately after winning she looks up to the sky and thanks Jesus.  Apparently Jesus is a big fan of Survivor and had nothing better to do on this day than to make sure Tasha played another day.  I wonder if he is also the one that helped Tony get two idols?

So now it looks pretty bad for Spencer unless those seeds of doubt they have been planting in Tony have begun to blossom and indeed they have into a full blown garden of paranoia.  Had Tasha won he almost certainly would of voted her off but now he is so scared of being outnumbered two to one by the girls, despite that fact that he has two idols.  We still don't know how long either of these idols are good for but if he can just win one of the next three immunities he's pretty much guaranteed final four even if he uses one of his idols this episode.

Despite all this he initiates a plan to take out Jefra.  Spencer and Tasha are thrilled to go along with the plan and Woo, who is Costello to Tony's Abbot is also down.  Once again they leave Trish and Kass out of the loop.

It's things like this that drive me crazy.  It is so irrational and senseless. This guy just can not slow down for one second. Spencer is a much bigger physical threat than Jefra.  Jefra may have a slight advantage over Spencer with the jury but Spencer and Tasha are no slouches in that department either.  However the plan may be aborted when Spencer decides to go searching for the idol just to be safe.  This is almost enough to cause Tony to flip once again.  I'm pretty sure this is just for dramatic effect though, since Probst implied in early interviews that Spencer goes to the end.

At tribal Tony pulls out his normal idol and announces he will be using it tonight because he's convinced the girls are plotting against him.  In the end the girls vote for Spencer and not for Tony but Tony does flip and Jefra is sent home.  I said this before but now I'm sure Tony's game is over.  The way he's going he's going to end up in the end with Tasha and Spencer and is gonna get his ass kicked.  After all one of thse two have won the last four immunities!  What's even more bizarre is the half of the worst tribe in Survivor history is now half of the final six.  So now it really is Brains vs Brawn!

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  Can Tasha save herself again with an unprecedented four strait immunity victories? 

Survivor Cagayan Week 9: The Cheapening!

This season was going soooo great but from where I stand it really went down the tubes this episode.  Why?  Because unfortunately I was right again.  Here is a quote from my week 6 recap.

Even though I don't like too many idols being in play I'm dying to find what these special powers are.  I'm thinking it might be an idol like the ones from Exile and Cook Islands that could be used after the votes are read, but we will see.

As I said in the quote I don't like so many idols floating around and I really don't like having an idol as powerful as the ones from Exile and Cook islands.  When Yul found the idol in cook islands that he could use after the votes are read and all the way to the final four that basically kept anyone from ever voting for him and he was able to position himself as this great strategic mastermind, which was just enough to steal the game from the far more deserving Ozzy.  What Candis, Sundra, Adam, and Jonathon didn't seem to understand is that it is very easy to make big strategic moves when there is no chance of you getting voted out.  In Brad's case I'm sure he voted for Yul over Ozzy because there complexions were more similar.

The producers saw how unfair it was to have such a powerful tool and how it cheapens the game so they changed the rules after Ozzy's tragic defeat to Yul.  They have kept it that way for 15 seasons.  That's more seasons then had occurred prior to Cook Islands.  But now I guess they are running out of ideas so they brought back a similar idol that can be used after the votes are read.  It's not quite as powerful since you can't give it to another player like Terry and Yul had the option of doing.  But I still don't like it. To make matters worse the guy I want to see get voted out the most ended up finding it.  Vic Mackie himself!

The one thing we don't know is how long this idol is good for.  Is it good until the final 4, 5, 6 or what?  If it's the final 4 or 5 it's an almost an absolute certainty that Tony will make it to the end, which really sucks.
  
So anyway the day after the betrayal of LJ Jefra finally starts talking for the first time in the game and is extremely pissed at Tony.  To my surprise Trish and Kass are not.  Kass says Tony is annoying so it's good to keep him around.  This is the first smart thing she has said in quite some time.  As a viewer I hate seeing annoying people being ridden like goats but from a strategic standpoint it makes a lot of sense.  Just ask Boston Rob.

While Trish is reassuring her, she again reinforces my observation of what a great liar Tony is by saying he went into the wrong profession because he's an academy award winning actor.  While all this is happening Tony is listening to every word under his "spy shack" which is wisely placed in close proximity to the water well.  Got to give him props for this and his acting ability.  As I have said before Tony's ability to lie believably puts Russell Hantz to shame.  But as I've also said, that's what comes from being a cop for over a decade.

At the reward challenge Probst gives an extra hard sell to the prize.  I can't remember a time when he put so much effort into describing the prize before a challenge.  As fate would have it Jefra is paired with the minority alliance and they end up narrowly beating the other team by realizing the winning phrase was "worth playing for" instead of the unheard of phrase in Survivor's dictionary "worth fighting for".

So when Jefra goes on reward with the three most desperate players in the game, guess what chronically paranoid Tony does?  Yeah, he starts freaking out!  So much so that he has to start a sentence three different times before he can finish it.  "They're going to suck in.... they're going to pull in... they're going to talk to Jefra."

This causes him to begin a panicked search for the idol.  It's pretty clear that he will find it from the very start of him describing his search for it.  He does indeed find it and as I said before it's an idol that makes Tony virtually invincible for the remainder of the game.

Meanwhile, much to Tony's chagrin, Trish and Woo are wasting time on the completely useless act of searching for food.  "Lime's and Papaya's" he whines.  Tony is so similar to Russell but unlike Russell, who was clearly an idiot, I can't tell if Tony is actually an evil genius or if he's a moron like Russell who has just been getting very lucky.  When he's doing things like fooling Sarah, blindsiding Cliff and finding idols he seems very smart but then he does stuff like foolishly yelling out "top 5 top5" or taking out his biggest ally for no apparent reason he seems like a typical Barney Fife.  One thing that's for sure though, he is the biggest drama queen in the history of Survivor.

Trish and Woo spot a tree that Trish observes resembles Morgan's boobs which makes me miss her even more.  As we saw in last weeks preview when Woo attempts to scale the tree he ends up completely busting his ass.  As he retells the incident he continues doing his best Jeff Spicoli impression as he has been doing throughout the season.  I had high hopes for Woo at the beginning of the season, some said he had the potential to be another Fabio but that is looking less and less likely as he continues to prove himself to be not much more than your average muscle head.     

At the reward Jefra does indeed get pulled in by the minority, at least momentarily.  That doesn't last long.

At the reward challenge Tash is once again in the final three, this time with Woo and Spencer.  It comes down to a rematch with Spencer who barely beat her the last time 2 episodes ago but this time Tash prevails. I have to say I think it would of been much better if this has happened during their last showdown.  I think at that time Spencer could of gotten everyone to vote for him and he could of used his idol to take out one of the majority instead of my girl Morgan getting voted out.  At this point however, he has proven himself to be a dangerous player who is much more likely to have it than Jeremiah.

As far as Tash goes I have to say, the longer she spends on the island losing weight the cuter and cuter she is getting.  I understand she used to be a cheerleader like Morgan and I can definitely see how on this episode.  She was looking mighty desirable with her hand firmly grasping that ahem pole and balancing that ahem ball.

Immediately after Tash wins immunity for the second strait time we see a clip of Jefra talking about taking out Tony, that was clearly shot long before the immunity challenge took place, and I'm starting to think Jefra will be the one going home.  However, Trish sees the conflict in her and eases her mind while pulling her back in.  I have to say that Trish might have missed her calling as well.  With her amazing attention to detail and phenomenal observational skills she could of made a great detective or poker player.

Meanwhile the minority sees they are in trouble and Jeremiah decides to make the amazing revelation that he is actually a fashion model.  OMG!  This is when Spencer decided to make an genuine revelation that he has the idol.  What I want to know is why is it necessary to have the word "male" in Jeremiah's label?  I mean if they just identified him as a "model" instead of a "male model" is there anyone out there that would think that he could possibly be a "female model"?

Right before tribal Jefra admits to Jeremiah that she's flopped back over to the majority.  Not sure if telling him was a good strategic move but I think he could attest to her integrity to be forthcoming.  This is definitely the right move for Jefra.  It would of been really stupid for her to flip even if Tony didn't have the special powered idol.  She may be correct about herself being on the bottom of the alliance but even if she flipped she would of still been on the bottom and she would of pissed a lot of people off.  Right now I think she has the best chance of winning if she can find a way to the end, despite what Spencer and Tash say about giving their jury vote to Tony.  She will have a tough time getting to the end with her current alliance but if she flips she will have almost no chance of winning.

It's an intense tribal as both sides have idols and both sides are trying to figure out who to vote for.  We see the minority vote for Woo and Spencer does a hilarious impression of him.  But we don't see who the majority are voting for before the reading of the votes.  However Woo does kind of tip their hand when he implies they don't want to vote for the person with the idol.  This should of sent out alarm bells to Spencer that they were voting for Jeremiah and maybe it did.  When the time comes to play the idol it appeared as though he considered giving it to Jeremiah but he plays it safe and uses it for himself.  I can't say I blame him.  Even though it turned out to be wrong it's probably what I would of done.  It would just be too risky to give it to Jeremiah.  Tony thinks he bluffed Spencer into not giving Jeremiah the idol but I'm not so sure.  Anyway when the votes come up for Jeremiah Spencer apologizes to Jeremiah who tells him not to worry about it but what he means to say is "don't worry about it because now I finally get to go to Ponderosa and try flirting with Morgan some more".

Next Week on Survivor!  It's auction time!  He will have enough will power to bid on the advantage instead of food?  My money is on Spencer.

Survivor Cagayan Week 8: Vic Mackie Returns With a Bag of Tricks

Ok, so I'm officially back to hating Tony aka Vic Mackie again.  He pissed me off enough last week by voting off Morgan and now this week he just complete lost it and erupted in an explosion of paranoia.  Go figure, a police officer acting paranoid. As I said before I wish Tony's behavior was unique of America's police force but that's quite the contrary.  Most cops are in a constant state of paranoia and like Tony, are incapable of performing their jobs without bulling people. 

He does this as soon as they get back to camp and throws a very nonstrategic shit fit about getting worthless votes thrown at him.  He makes a big production about voting for Morgan because she didn't deserve to be here, which is complete bullshit.  He went after her because she was the least likely to have the idol. 

Then the next morning after all his talk of getting rid of the least deserving players he immediately decides to target LJ.  This is the same LJ that almost completely unnecessarily sacrificed his idol for Tony.  As I said before I believe that gesture by LJ demostrated how much allegiance he had to Tony.  Why you want to get rid of someone who will always have your back in a game where people are constantly trying to cut your throat is beyond me.  Tony may not be quite as retarded as I first thought but this proves he is still a moron. 

His plan is to plant seeds of Woo's deadliness.  To appease Tony LJ asks Tony if he wants to take out Woo, with absolutely no intention of actually targeting woo.  But this all Tony needs for ammunition to go after LJ.

At the reward challege, gasoline is poured onto Tony's fire of paranoia when he is teamed with two people from the minority alliance, Spencer and Jeremiah, and end up winning.  Tony is so anxious to make another move that this temptation is far to great for him to resist so at the reward he starts wheeling and dealing, telling his challenge partners he's not quite ready to turn on his alliance but will keep them safe for the next vote.  Tony dubs himself the opportunist because when he sees an opportunity he grabs it.  I just hope there's a huge cliff near camp that he'll have the opportunity to jump off of.  So now Spencer and Jeremiah just have to hope Tasha doesn't win the next immunity. 

Speaking of Tash she isn't going down without a fight.  She's either cunning enough to actually see Tony's ridiculous gameplay or is just grasping at straws when when she tries to warn LJ about Tony and recruit him and Jefra to mutiny.  LJ doesn't want to blow off Tash to her face but he's also ver weary of Tony's paranoia so he does end up snubbing her.

Karma comes back to bite LJ when it's Tasha who beats out LJ for individual immunity.  Unfortunately his bad karma doesn't end there.  I think Tony was planning to vote off Tasha for this round but when she wins immunity he shifts gears and decides to advance his plan to take out LJ.  He first enlists Woo who like Sarah falls for his game hook line and sinker.  In Woo's and Sarah's defense I will say the Tony may be the most believable liar in Survivor history.  Russell Hantz could learn a few things from him, but as I said before that's what being a cop for so long does for you.

Like Kass I had really high hopes for Woo but he's proved himself to just be a typical musclehead. Got to give the editing department probs on this.  They fool me a lot in this respect.  I remember thinking Jed from Survivor Thailand was a favorite to win.  Talk about embarassing. 

Tony then goes to enlists Trish in his plan but she is not so easily swayed.  And I don't think it's just because she has a huge crush on LJ.  She can see the holes in Tony's story that Woo fails to notice.  This gives Tony second thoughts and I'm hoping Trish's lust for LJ might be enough for her to lead a revolt against Tony.  Unfortunately this is not to be. 

At tribal Tony whips out his "bag of tricks" which I guess was some kind of bluff that he may have an idol and not get voted for again.  Speaking of idols am I the only one who is wondering about the idol with different powers.  No one seems to be looking for it and I wonder if anybody ever will.  Perhaps they think the clue that Spencer had last week was for that idol and it's already been found.  If it's not found I hope Probst will explain it's powers at the reunion show.

Back to the vote.  As I said before Karma is not done with LJ.  Tony sticks with the plan and LJ who earlier made the cardinal sin of saying how he felt comfortable for the first time gets blindsided.  I was a little blindsided too.  Since the whole episode seemed to point to LJ's exit I was sure the editors were just trying to fool us and Jeremiah or maybe even Tony would get voted out.  That would have been amazing. 

So now I'm thinking Spencer is now the favorite to win.  I think Tony will probably make it to the end and will take Spencer along or Spencer will use his idol to get there.  I also think Trish will be in the final three but I doubt she will win. 

One last thing I'd like to get off my chest.  I don't have cable so I watch Survivor on cbs.com.  I have to say I am so sick of that Windows comercial with the nerdy girl coffee shop owner.  "Honestly" she is the most annoying spokesperson since Jacko.  She must be making a fortune off the comercial with the amount of times it's show.  If 1,000,000 people a day watch one show on cbs.com and she makes just 1 penny everytime it's played she would be making 100 grand a day since they show it 10 times during every show.  Or at least they were.  They have seemed to lessen the amout from last week but I would still love to strangle this annoying bitch. 

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! Tony continues to unravel but no one will have the guts to take him out.

Survivor Cagayan Week 7: So hard to say goodbye

HERE

I feel like shit not just because my girl got eliminated but have a vicious cold so I'm just gonna say I'm seriously bummed to see her sexy ass leave but looking forward to seeing her prettied up on the jury. Maybe I'll add to this post when I'm feeling better. 

Go here to see where Morgan falls on my list of hottest survivor women.
http://ultimatesurvivorcountdown.blogspot.com/2010/06/hottest-survivor-women.html

Survivor Cagayan Week 6: Chaos Kass Strikes Again!

The following is a paragraph from my week 2 recap of this seasons Survivor.

Note to self.  When you get on Survivor do not trust short stocky bald guys who speak with an accent.  Unfortunately after he confided in his fellow cop, I think her name is Sara, she is pulling a major Shambo and falling for his game hook line and sinker.  "I trust Tony 1000 percent." Didn't Shambo say the exact same thing about Russell before he fucked her?

And guess what happened this week?  Tony fucked Sarah over and ocrchestrated her exit from the game.  Looks like I called that one pretty good but I might of been wrong about the casting department doing a lousy job again because this has turned out to be one of the most exciting seasons ever and we're just to the merge.

Speaking of Tony he is no longer the outsider and has gelled with his new tribe very nicely.  Solana is all getting along very well and then are told to head over to Appari.  This of course is so the tribes can merge.  Along with the traditional tribe feast they are given a note that there is another idol with special powers hidden in the camp.  What could these powers be?  Even though I don't like too many idols being in play I'm dying to find what these special powers are.  I'm thinking it might be an idol like the ones from Exile and Cook Islands that could be used after the votes are read, but we will see.

Soon after the merge Trish gives Pilates instructions to most of the tribe including Morgan and I've never wanted to be a Pilates mat so bad in my entire life when I see her mashing her chest down towards it. Tony, however, is sitting out the lessons and is trying to figure out his next move.  

Even though Vic Mackie's alliance is in the majority I couldn't help but think they were in the best position.  They are much more united then the former Appari, they don't have three members who came from the worst tribe in Survivor history AND they have two immunity idols.  So once again I'm a bit worried about my girl Morgan's position in the game.

Most of the dissension  from the former Appari comes from Kass and Sarah.  As I see Kass push Sarah's buttons I can't help but think I was wrong about her strategic ability.  Sarah is the obvious swing vote between two groups of five players so Kass and everyone else should be kissing Sarah's ass like it's going out of style at least for this first vote.  I did really like it when Kass said don't trust a cop, no question about that.  Of course Lawyers aren't any more trust worthy.

Tony tries to get back into Sarah's good graces but she's not sure which way to go because she made a pact with Appari and she doesn't want to lose their jury votes.  Meanwhile Appari wants to vote out Woo or Trish but Sarah still feels a bond for them and wants to take out Tony.
   
The immunity challenge is the classic balancing one's self on this floating triangle structure with very small foot holds to stand on.  Even though I'm pretty sure no man has ever won this challenge because it is so advantageous to women since they have smaller feet which it makes it easier to stand on the foot holds, but despite all this my gut tells me that Trish and Woo are the favorites to win this challenge.  I figured Trish because she is a Pilates instructor and Woo because he's a martial arts expert, both of which I would guess would help with your balance, especially the martial arts.







Everyone makes it through the first two rounds no sweat, but the moment that they move to the third round where you have to stand on the very top of the triangle, the bulk of the tribe starts falling like dominoes including Trish.  The only three that manage to hang on after the first minute are Vic Mackie, my girl Morgan and Woo!  Unfortunately when a strong gust of wind hits the players Morgan is knocked off.  Fortunately though, we get to see her soaking wet again :) So astonishingly enough it comes down to two men fighting it out.  Tony gives Woo a good run for his money but in the end can't hold on.  However, he does prove he's nearly the scum bag Russell Hantz is and congratulates Woo as he is falling into the water.  So now Solana have individual immunity in addition to both immunity

After the challenge most of Appari wants to vote for Jefra because they wisely figure there is no way she has the idol.  However, Sarah still wants to go after her blue blooded brother Tony because she if finally starting to wake up and see how shady he is.  She wants to get the strongest players out first before they can start winning immunity and do too much damage.  Unfortuantely she is also certain that he does not have an idol.  I guess she figures because cops are so honest and forthright that he would of showed it to her if he did.

So obviously Sarah is way off about Tony having an idol but I can see the wisdom in both arguments.  On the one hand Jefra would be a safe vote but people with idols normally don't use them on the first vote after the merge.  So if they were to vote Jefra out and whoever has an idol is left with just 4 people in their alliance that would make it more likely that they would use it on the next vote which puts your alliance more in jeopardy.  Appari does defer to Sarah's wishes since she is the swing vote but Kass isn't happy about it.

Through the entire episode Sarah is bragging about being in such a great position, and I can't help but shake the feeling that she is going to be pulling a Dolly and swing herself right out of the game.  Her cockiness is what is annoying Kass so much.  It also annoys Tony who tries very hard to swing her back to their side.  Sarah stupidly won't even pretend to commit to him so Trish goes to work on Kass.  When Trish tells her they want to vote out Sarah it's music to Kass's ears.  With each passing moment it's looking more and more like Solana is the alliance with their heads in the game and Appari is just bumbling around. 

As thrilling as this episode has been it jumps to mach 5 at tribal council.  The subject of idols comes up and when it is directed at LJ he tries to deflect any thoughts of him having one by saying they could be a big joke this season which Probst takes to mean that there are no idols this season.  It is at this moment that Tony makes a move that puts Russell Hantz to shame, and not in a bad way.  He confidently announces that there are idols and he know this because he has one.  Spencer calls him out and Tony reaches into his bag puts the idol around his neck and says he using it tonight but not necessarily for himself because it is a community idol.  He then smugly suggests how panicked the six former Appari are and he is so right.  The look on Appari's faces, especially Sarah's is priceless and suddenly my respect for Tony has increased by about 1000%.  All of them are in a panic and Spencer initiates the action to "vote for the other one" clearly telegraphing that they will not be voting for Tony.  

After the vote Probst asks if anyone wants to play an idol.  Tony then does something that is a little puzzling and asks Probst to confirm that the idol is genuine.  I can't believe Tony could possibly think it wasn't real so maybe there was some other motive behind this move that I'm not getting.  Tony then tells Probst he wants to use if for LJ.  The surprises don't stop there though.  LJ then jumps up and shocks everyone including Tony but pulling out his idol, which obviously no one was aware of and announces he wants to use it to protect Tony. 

Tony is on top of the world at this point and actually starts rooting for his name to come up but his euphoria quickly disipates when he sees Jefra's name come up and it is now Appari who are looking smug.  The big question is will Kass flip?  Even though it wouldn't be good for Morgan I'm actually hoping she did.  The last vote is read and it is in fact for Sarah and now it is Appari who are now shocked and depressed.  Except of course for Kass who like Morgan last episode is looking like the cat that ate the canary as Sarah realizes she's been had.

As she's leaving Sarah asks who flipped as if there was any question to the culprit but Appari quickly realizes it was Kass and Spencer announces she now has zero chance of winning to which Kass replies, "there's still a long way to go".  I have to agree with Spencer though.  Even though I'm glad Kass did what she did, historically whenever someone pulls this move it ends there game.

It may seem like LJ and Tony wasted their idols but even though they turned out to be irrelevant I still think playing them was a great move especially for Tony.  After Tony's selfless act, which I am still completely stunned by, I think that group will now be more solid then any alliance Russell ever had and I think LJ will now follow Tony through the gates of hell.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! I was happy to see Morgan looked in danger in the previews because that probably means she's is safe as a kitten.  My money is on Tony to find the special powered idol.

Survivor Cagayan Week 5: Zombie Tribe

 

So because of Trish's massive urge to gloat about her big blindside as soon as Solana returns to camp, we almost have a female version of  Brandon Hantz and Philip altercation.  Or at least that's what Lyndsey leads Probst to believe moments later when she informs him that she can't take being in the game another second.  That and the fact that she didn't expect to have endure being cold, tired and hungry while playing the game of Survivor.  

I've watched Lyndsey's exit interview on Survivor Live and personally believe she is so full of shit.  During her interview she was doing all kinds of double talk and just not making any sense.  I believe she knew her days were numbered and didn't want to give Trish the satisfaction of voting her out.

I am completely disgusted by this.  There are so many people like myself who are dying to get on this show and she quits because her ego couldn't take her closest ally being blindsided.  As I've said many times before I believe the casting department is on crack but whoever chose to put someone this ridiculously weak on the brawn tribe should be demoted.  You would think the fact that she's a hairdresser might give you a little clue that she shouldn't be on a tribe of strong people.  She doesn't even have the guts to face her tribe to let them know she's leaving which is even more suspicious of her motives.

At the reward challenge when Solana walks in with two people missing we are treated to several members of Aparri doing their best Eliza Orlins impression.  Probst questions Alexis on her reaction and without thinking she says she is so happy to see her fellow beauty's still alive.  That statement will come back to haunt her.  

The reward is a raid on the losing tribe's camp and the challenge is a familiar one where two members of opposing tribes square off and try to knock a mini idol out of the other's hand.  The first two are Spencer and Woo.  Spencer prevails by using the old trick of throwing your own idol high into the air and then immediately striking at the your opponent's.  You would think that by now someone one would be anticipating this move during this challenge and defend by throwing your idol up as high as you can so the other person's will hit the ground first.  I'm sure this move would not be easy but could be executed with focus.

The scoring goes back and forth but then my girl Morgan has to face off against Vic Mackie because so many men have been voted off.  LJ warns him not to look into her eyes because he will get sucked in but I'm sure everyone will agree her eyes are hardly Morgan's most distracting feature to the average man.  Mackie wins and request's high fives from his fellow teammates for the incredibly difficult task of beating a little 21 year old girl.

Next is a rematch between Spencer and Woo with the game on the line and Solana in the lead.  This time Woo does focus and patiently waits for the right moment.  He then strikes, knocking Spencer's idol down to the ground and winning the challenge.  Solana decides to send Woo and Vic Mackie to raid Aparri's camp.

At Aparri Tony and Woo are given a clue to the idol at Solana even though the idol is in LJ's pocket which doesn't make any sense to me.  Tony then gets the evil plan of telling Aparri that the clue is for their camp and they are choosing to give it to Jeremiah.  Even though Jeremiah see's it's an old clue to their old camp he not only doesn't say anything he actually give the clue back to Tony  before they leave.

When Tony and Woo get back to Solana they gloat about how they put a huge target on Jeremiah's back.  Then Tony comes clean about being a cop to try to earn the tribes trust.  As LJ said, "to prove he's trust worthy he admits to everyone he's been lying for two weeks.  Ok. Different."  I wish I could say Tony's intelligence and paper thin integrity was unique to the law enforcement ranks but I'm sorry to say based on my experience Tony is extremely typical of your average cop.  

Unfortunately not too many people realize this and think cops are as mostly honest.  I remember telling my aunt, who is a white lady, when I was a teenager how sketchy cops were and became so revolted by my statement.  The thing is cops act very differently with women (especially white women) and rich white men then they do with everyone else.  So if you're a white woman like my aunt or a rich white guy you have no idea to the true nature of the police.  If you need more insight just watch the Shield sometime.

But Tony isn't the only one to have a huge revelation, Trish jokingly reveals that she's really a man. OK. I thought she was going to reveal that she's actually the Joker's twin sister.

Back at Aparri, Alexis is very suspicious of Jeremiah for receiving an idol clue and begins to orchestrate his exit from the game.  She begins with Spencer, who plays along but is actually afraid that Alexis might be smarter than she lets on, which immediately reveals Spencer's elite power's of observation.  A lot of drama ensues surrounding Jeremiah warning us that Aparri will most likely be losing the challenge, but on the bright side Morgan appears to be pretty safe.

However that thought doesn't seem too sound when LJ starts bumbling around during the first phase of the challenge.  First he get's stuck in the mud then he decides to put the tallest pole of a staircase smack dab in the middle, but during the second part which is navigating through a bamboo maze Solana catches up.  The next part is completing a puzzle of wooden boards to reveal a combination to a lock that secures an immunity flag.  Sarah is working the puzzle for Aparri but apparently she forgot her glasses back at camp and can't see what everyone else can, which is her puzzle pieces don't match.  Solana finishes first and LJ once again nearly busts his ass on the way to the combination but still manages to release the flag.  Then Tony once again demonstrates his intelligence level but jumping up and down, while shouting "Top Five" over and over within spitting distance of his blue blooded sister Sarah, who doesn't look the least bit pleased.

At Aparri we see Morgan looking fine as hell in a lake with Alexis, and Sarah.  Alexis is trying to solidify Jeremiah's departure.  Sarah swears on everything she loves that she's voting for Jeremiah.  But guess what?  Shocker!  Officer Sarah lies and votes for Alexis along with everyone else.  I must say the editors did quite a job in fooling me because I was sure Jeremiah was a goner.  You would think I would learn after all these years.  Alexis leaves in tears and we see Morgan smiling like the cat who just ate the canary.  I have to say I totally missed how Morgan was more upset with Alexis than with Jeremiah but apparently she was.

I didn't have a lot of love for Alexis but I have to say I really felt her pain when she left.  I was surprised to learn that she is actually a really big fan of the show.  I would of bet anything that most of the beauty's along with most of this season's cast were recruits.  There's also the fact that I do not like Jeremiah after he betrayed Morgan and Brice.  That's how the game goes though.  

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR!  The previews seem to be implying a merge but I have a feeling it might be a trick.

 

Survivor Cagayan Week 4: Then End or the Beginning for the "Brains"?

This episode had some great shocking moments that arose from the tribal shake up we all knew was coming.  As soon as the three tribes arrive for their next challenge they are instructed to drop their buffs and they will be merging into two tribes.  Since the green tribe has no food courtesy of J'Tia they are divided between orange and purple.  At this point in the game there are 15 men and 17 women so one team is going to really get the short end of the stick.  That tribe turns out to be the orange tribe when all three of the men from the Brawn tribe get switched over to purple along with the 2 of the Brawn women.  Sarah is the only person to stay orange.  She then gets stuck with all three "Brains" plus Alexa, Jeremiah and my girl Morgan.

After the switch up they immediately engage in the most unfair challenge in Survivor history when two members from each tribe must drag another member off a pole and across a track.  Aparri does win the first point and I never thought I could be so jealous of a tattooed covered hair dresser but that's exactly what happens as I watch in total envy when Morgan mashes her massive boobs into Lindsely's face as she tries to pry her off the pole, but the next two rounds are a complete massacre with Salani using their resident giant Cliff on the pole both times AND they also have the advantage of getting to use a man to pry off an Aparri woman in both rounds.

Back at camp things aren't looking any better for Morgan as Sarah outs her and spills the beans about Trish having a choice between looking for an idol or an extra bag of rice which Morgan lied about when she was in the same situation on day 1.  I would of bet anything that Sarah would of been the obvious swing vote within this tribe until Morgan's fellow beauty members waist no time in throwing her under the bus and each try to form an separate alliance with the "Brains" who are now sitting pretty after ridding themselves of the curse of rice's worst enemy J'Tia.  However I'm fairly certain this tribe has zero chance of winning the immunity challenge and I'm very concerned for Morgan's life in the game continuing past this episode.

At Solani it seems as though outnumbered LJ and chronically confused looking Jeffra are on the outs until Trish immediately begins drooling over the much younger LJ.  Even Vic Mackie tries to play match maker when he learns they are both single and from Massachusetts.  Cliff doesn't like this and quickly begins scheming to separate the two.

At the immunity challenge Probst announces he is retiring the smaller immunity idol and then tries his best to figure out the gender of the bigger idol for some reason.  He then announces that each tribe must sit out one player.  Solani immediately chooses Trish but there's some drama at Aparri who has determined Alexa or Morgan will sit out, instead of one of the three members who came from one of the worst competitive tribes in Survivor history, but neither of them want to sit out.  Sarah impatiently demands they play rock paper scissors to decide and Alexa triumps over Morgan,.  Not that it matters, because the first part of the challenge entails swinging a giant wooden dildo through two wooden walls and we all no Appari has no chance of winning this one right?

Well this is where the first shocking even of the episode takes place.  No I don't mean Probst yelling out "it's harder than it looks" as teams swing the giant wooden dildos.  I mean when Aparri actually manages to emerge neck and neck with Solana at the second phase of the challenge which consists of navigating the dildo through ahem, three holes.  Vic Mackie is even more shocked than I am when Aparri narrowly defeats the Brawny Solana.  After expressing his shock he announces that LJ is the primary target to eliminate, which probably means LJ isn't going anywhere.

Wouldn't you know it, LJ's recent admirer Trish is desperate to save him and wants to enlist Vic Mackie to take down Cliff because he has not said a word to her the entire time they have been there.  This is a major Survivor mistake that I see too many people make.  If I'm playing Survivor I'm going to be doing my best to be friendly with everyone even if I can't stand them.  If I see someone I don't like first thing in the morning, the first thing I'm gonna do is give them a hug and ask them if they got any sleep and do my best to make them feel comfortable right before I cut their throat.  Some may say being likable can be a liability in this game and it can, but it's very hard to get to the end AND WIN if you're not likable.  I'm talking to you Russell Hantz.  This is a social game and your social skills have to be in overdrive when playing survivor unless you're just looking to be somebody's goat to ride to the end.

Trish's only problem is convincing Vic Mackie to go along with the plan.  He's calling Trish schizophrenic for wanting to vote out Cliff which seems to me like the pot calling the kettle black since Tony has been dying to get out Cliff.  Lindsey however smells a rat which encourages Cliff to confront Tony after seeing him and Trish scheming on the beach.  At this point I'm not sure Tony deserves to be called Vic Mackie because he suddenly loses his ability to be a world class liar.  He does lie to Cliff but it's not a very good one, where he tells Cliff she was talking about staying strong.  If I had been Tony I would of said that she liked LJ and wanted to get rid of Jeffra first to diffuse any suspicions Cliff might have. I understand he was trying to alleviate Cliff's concerns but my lie would of been much more plausible.

Even though Tony seems to be struggling with the decision LJ seems to be pretty safe for the moment since he has an idol in his pocket.  With all the uncertainty going into the vote it would seem an obvious move for LJ to use his idol.  This is when the next shocking even occurs and after the vote LJ does NOT play his idol.  Now he survives when Vic Mackie votes for Cliff for "strategical" reasons but that was so risky.  I'm sure he had a long talk with Tony that we did not get to see before tribal and Tony convinced him he was down for the plan but still I can't imagine LJ not using his idol.  I think Reynold might of done the same thing and survived but look how far he got.

In the end Lindsey and Woo or shocked when Cliff leaves despite Lindsey swearing on everything she loves that Trish would flip.  I guess she just didn't predict Tony would flip.  Then Probst must snuff the torch of the most towering contestant since Mitchell from season 2.

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR! It looks like Lindsey was put on the wrong tribe and is not strong enough to endure the heat of the game.